Bob's Grabbag

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Friday, August 9, 2013

THE FLATLINER ANSWERS "THE QUESTION"

"That day when thou didst nearly die, did thee sense The Other Side? Didst see that Square of Light ahead that floats above thy gurney bed? Didst hear the blessed angels sing?" I saw no Afterlife unmasked, but does diarrhea count, I asked? Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

SIDEWALK SALE AT FORTUNOFF'S OUTDOOR STORE

I doubt I really have to have this new and pricey high end barbecue - stainless steel and five yards long - seats four adults, will answer phones and has Wi-Fi, beeps whenever it backs up, counts the family silverware, can be seen from on the moon, has a playroom in the basement, takes all major... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

SHIATSU MAGIC*

Kate probes into the weary flesh for tension and bad energy and, as she finds them, flicks them from her fingertips out onto the waiting floor where I suppose they lie around until some toxic waste collecting broom or mop comes by at night. *If you haven't heard of it, shiatsu is a form of Japanese... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

BACHELOR MEMORIES

Hispanic, clever, and attractive, Louise went out with me that night for dinner and a play in Soho. Waiting for dessert and coffee, Lou cupped her chin and studied me until I got to wondering just what it was she thought she saw. "A penny for your thoughts," I offered. "Wow, and thrifty, too" was... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, August 5, 2013

'NOWHERE MAN II'

He never learned to lend a hand or felt someone deserved his thanks, never tried improving things or moved to make a place for others; never sensed his cranky words would always have a kind of edge; never would accept the blame, but hastened to accept the credit; never had the slightest notion what... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, August 4, 2013

BRUCE

Jaws never would have worked so well had Spielberg's clockwork shark worked better, weren't just some eighteen feet of fiberglass and styrofoam - expensive, cranky fakery that rarely swam or chomped on cue, made technicians and his crew curse and re-shoot endlessly. Instead, its failure made him... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

TABLE SEVENTEEN AT STAN AND MARGIE'S WEDDING

I'm bored and lonely sitting here. Second cousin once removed of Stan the groom, I have no clue just why I ever was invited to this noisy huge reception where I don't know anyone. The lady sitting next to me -whose name I promptly have forgot - speaks of nothing but her doctors. To my right, an... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 2, 2013

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION

Sandcastles never win, of course, but build them anyway. And build them where the building's best, down beside the water's edge, with chaos just ten feet away. The beach has nowhere else that lets you fist and drizzle soupy sand. So, dig the moat that fills so fast, firm and pack four walls that... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

I DANCED AT STAN AND MARGIE'S WEDDING

or, They Don't Pay Waitresses Enough The waitress that I watched all night comes over, says "Come dance with me!" A third my age or even less, prepared to pout if I refuse, she takes my hand (my heart as well) and gets me up and out with her. I start off conscious of my feet, but when she says "All... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

"YOU HAVE TO KISS A LOT OF FROGS BEFORE YOU FIND YOUR PRINCE"

- anonymous So, imagine with me, if you will, just what "a lot of frogs" might mean... Frog # 202 - Well, if you want to know, she wasn't so hot either. Frog # 506 - I said to her, Vicki, this will never work. What would our kids look like! Frog # 729 - Picky, picky. Frog # 733 - She was one very... Sign in to see full entry.

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