Adventures in Psychosis

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Wednesday, November 17, 2004

What They Say

So right now as I am writing this down, I can hear someone who is not there. I wrote it down on a scrap of paper and thought I would try to write an entry for this journal as well. The voice is talking about how caffeine will increase my insomnia, which is a topic I just spoke to a coworker about a... Sign in to see full entry.

Journal of That Which is Not Real

At this point I have decided that my best defense will be a good offence. Whenever I hear something that isn’t there, I make a note of it; I think about what it was, what it sounded like, what it said. I’m keeping a journal that is made up of a compilation of all these little notes to myself. What I... Sign in to see full entry.

The Voices of Schizophrenia

Rachel had a question that I’m sure tons of people wonder about. What do the voices I hear say? I can understand the curiosity, and think that it would be beneficial for people to understand what is actually going on, rather than have confused ideas based the rumors and misconceptions most of the... Sign in to see full entry.

News for an Absent Father

Most of my family and a few of my friends now know about that which I kept secret and to myself for so long. Fortunately I think this has proven to me yet again that my family and close friends are genuinely good; they have proven understanding and supportive. Many of them were shocked at first,... Sign in to see full entry.

What Happened To The World I Knew?

Something I perhaps didn’t really expect, but now know is a reality is the fact that with this new diagnosis, certain things may become increasingly difficult, if not impossible. One of my dream jobs would be working for the government developing new technologies in the area of network security; but... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

A Changed Life

Through everything that has come to be, I'm still here, the same old me. No matter what label they decide to give, My life is still mine to live. Everyday I question whether this is right, If I really need these drugs to win the fight. Then I question if the enemy is even real, Or just something my... Sign in to see full entry.

The People who Aren't There

I just got to work from lunch, a quite tasty lunch at that. Walking through the hallway I passed our conference room and heard my co-worker John say “Hello Michael!” I said hello back as I walked by and thought I’d give him a hard time for the problem he couldn’t solve this morning (He’s tech... Sign in to see full entry.

Dealing With Hallucinations as a Programmer and a Writer

One problem that has presented itself and has caused somewhat serious issues is having hallucinations at work. I’ve always had trouble staying focused on something, but over the past year I’ve found it increasingly difficult as my auditory hallucinations became more prominent. It’s tough to keep my... Sign in to see full entry.

Not a Victim

Perhaps the most important thing that I have to remember is that I am not a victim. I wouldn’t even say that I “suffer” from a brain disease. These are simply the cards life dealt me, and so I have to play them as best I can. Before I go and say “poor me”, I stop and realize that there are a lot of... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 15, 2004

A Child's Dreams

Think back to when you were 12 years old. Remember all the fun being a kid was? So many things were brand new and exciting. Sure we had our problems maybe with fitting in at school or whatever, but goodness, we got to learn so much, and we got to be free. Think back to when you were 12 years old.... Sign in to see full entry.

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