Adventures in Psychosis

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Monday, November 22, 2004

Still Psychotic!

I survived my trip to the doctor. Are you ready for the exciting news I learned today? *drumroll…………* Oh wait, there was no exciting news. I’m still schizophrenic. No such luck as to be called something else. It sure would be nice to not live under that stigma, but ah well. They have upped my dosage... Sign in to see full entry.

Frail Nerves

Ok, so it’s going to be tough for me to go and get this over with. I’m already feeling anxious and nervous about this doctor’s appointment, and I still have another 2 hours to go. I get really nervous when I plan on telling the doctor something new, because I have no idea how she’ll react. I’m also... Sign in to see full entry.

Psychotic Depression?

I’m going in to see my psychiatrist today at 11am, and it will be interesting to see what they think when I explain the sort of depression like symptoms I’ve been facing. You see, I’m still not very forthcoming about all of this to anyone. I hid it all for so long that it has become difficult to... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

A Good Day and A Bad Joke

Today isn’t going too bad, believe it or not. I did some cleaning today which always seems to brighten my mood even though the thought of cleaning makes me sick. I guess it just feels good to have everything in order. I was blaring Jars of Clay, which anyone who knows me would find very humorous.... Sign in to see full entry.

Creating My Hell

To answer a question posted in a comment, I don’t believe it is possible for me to help being so irritable sometimes. Now, I did at one point think that I could help it, and I even consciously made an effort to just let things go, to not let them get to me. Every time I tried, it just got worse. If... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, November 20, 2004

Angry at Nothing

Tonight has been a pretty terrible one. For no reason at all I suddenly became extremely irritable and withdrawn. I didn’t want to have anything to do with anyone. Everything anyone did pissed me off, for no reason whatsoever. Then to make things worse, my roommates and their friends that are over... Sign in to see full entry.

Psychotic Episode

I went into downtown Los Gatos today to use a coupon for Borders bookstore. I’m a big time nerd, so I bought a programming book. But that’s not what I wanted to tell you about. I had what some might call a psychotic episode while downtown. I was with my roommate, he was driving thankfully. As we... Sign in to see full entry.

Freak in Public

Last night turned out to be just about as bad as I feared. I told my mom that I was having a tough day but I was willing to go try and get some food somewhere. As soon as we got to the Hick’ry Pit I knew it was going to be a bad night. For some reason, when I go into public places on a bad day, it... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, November 19, 2004

I've Got to Stop Thinking Negatively!

One more hour until the work week is over. I didn’t get nearly as much done as I should have today, and I’m afraid I’ll be reamed for it. I had a very VERY difficult time concentrating on anything at all today. My head is pounding and it has not been a good day for silence in my brain. I’m supposed... Sign in to see full entry.

Darker Thoughts

I find myself thinking about things that disturb me on a somewhat regular basis. Unconsciously my thoughts will get lost in dark, twisted mazes that are by no means good thoughts. I hadn’t planned on talking about them, I guess for the sake of saving face, but I’ve decided that if I am to have this... Sign in to see full entry.

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