The crazy lady strikes again for Thursday, August 5, 2004

I was just reading a couple of posts - one by Ariala and one by RachelAnna - with more comments than I'll ever get on any of my posts. I have to admit that seeing all those comments reactivated one of my old issues. When I was in high school, I was obsessed with being popular - never mind that I needed adult guidance to correct deficiencies in fashion and other issues. For that matter, I still need adult guidance, even though I'm an adult now myself. Therefore, when I see 35-50 comments on a... Sign in to see full entry.

This has been my problem lately. I want to surround myself with people who feel joy rather than sadness. I want to surround myself with true friends rather than fake friends. I've shared in other blogs that I had a horrible childhood. I wish someone would have reached out to me when I was an adolescent - so alone, so isolated. I would have appreciated seeing the horror on someone else's face at the living conditions I had to put up with as an adolescent. I don't want to go back to that; I want... Sign in to see full entry.

In another blog, I said that I was sick of going into the details of what has been causing my problems. That isn't entirely true. The truth is that I chose to be secretive yet again, just for the thrill of being able to get away with it. Redwind left an interesting comment on that blog, about not wallowing in it. Being secretive means that I'm wallowing in it - it gives me the feeling that nobody cares or understands, conveniently leaving out of the equation that I'm choosing to be secretive in... Sign in to see full entry.