Menopausal Mal

Ask mothers about their most sublime moment and many say, “when my child was born” or “having my baby.” A woman I once met told me that she kept having kids – I think she had eight at the time – because pushing them through the birth canal felt better than sex. I wondered – is this woman human? Even... Sign in to see full entry.

Saw Scorsese's new love-letter to the Stones last night; Shine a Light, which sure enough shined a spotlight on the creaky old rockers in adolescent bodies. Mick was prancing around like a peacock, as he usually does, and I swear no-one has a right to have an ass that small. But the crevices on his... Sign in to see full entry.

When did Sigorney Weaver grow old enough to become the butt of withered womb jokes? If she is ancient, than that must mean my own cootie is more shriveled than Keith Richard's face. Last night I saw the very hilarious "Baby Moma" - with Tina Fey and that other girl from the new cast of Saturday... Sign in to see full entry.

For the fourth time in so many days, I've been the fortunate beneficiary of $20 million from an unfortunate widow in Nigeria who can't seem to find anyone else to give the money to. She must have contacted thousands, if not millions, of Americans asking for their help in accepting this massive... Sign in to see full entry.

I like to get to work a. Before the crack of dawn b. Before my boss comes in c. Just squeaking in by "Doors Open" time. d. Work? What work? I consider a career with the DMV to be a. My dream job b. A stepping stone to a better position c. Better than the Post Office d. I'd rather break rocks in the... Sign in to see full entry.

Jeff and I have been married 25 years this past Jan. 1st, and he's one of those habitually happy, upbeat guys rare in these often nasty, depressing times. He is also an accident waiting to happen. He's 53, thinks he's 20, and plays sports as if his body hasn't aged one year since high school. He... Sign in to see full entry.

I live near NYC and drove up to the Adirondacks today to "chill." I left home when the temperature was 58 degrees and figured on wearing my Northface coat while doing some hiking here. As I drove into this little town, my car's outside thermometer read 77. Sweltering! As if a hot flashing female... Sign in to see full entry.

This morning, as I was driving my 16 year old son to the school bus stop, the local news came on the radio. The newscaster was explaining that due to possible abuses, GPS systems would be put in Government cars, so that officials wouldn't go astray and take advantage of their cool Crown Victorias;... Sign in to see full entry.

Disks of shade beneath feathery trees I crawl, newborn leaves caress my neck, Translucent green - the green of baby Martian skin paint my own a sickly hue. Outside the line where dark meets light blazing sun bakes mortal souls Within, I breathe in musty cool While above, my dancing coverlet a view;... Sign in to see full entry.

They call us the "Sandwich" generation; stuck between needy children and aging parents. I have to say, though, that my sons, nutty teens though they may be, are less needy than most, and my own Mom (75) is usually off somewhere zip-lining through forest canopies or wading with Antarctic penguins.... Sign in to see full entry.