Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Most lethal food!

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is... Sign in to see full entry.

Undercover wedding

As supposedly reported on CNN: Undercover police, staging the wedding of "a drug kingpin's daughter", let it be known on the street that dealers were "invited" (i. e. Expected to attend). The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 14, 2013

For the moms

Things Mom Would Never Say "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?" "Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too" "Just leave all the lights on... it makes the house look more cheery" "Let me smell that shirt -- Yeah, it's good for another week" "Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey.... Sign in to see full entry.

Parenting

The First Parent by Bill Cosby Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to his kids. After creating Heaven and Earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first thing He said to them was: "Don't." "Don't what?", Adam... Sign in to see full entry.

Today is one of the first Father's Days of our new millennium. Fathers of 1900 didn't have it nearly as good as fathers of today; but they did have a few advantages: In 1900, fathers prayed their children would learn English. Today, fathers pray their children will speak English. In 1900, a father's... Sign in to see full entry.

Darwin Nominees II?

Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual "Darwin Award". That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most... Sign in to see full entry.

Darwin nominees?

A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and has $400.00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Stupidity runs amok

IDIOTS & RETAIL I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary... Sign in to see full entry.

Darwin nominees

It is once again time to vote for-the Darwin Award nominees for 1997. As you may already know, the Darwin Awards are for those nominees who will not be contributing to the gene pool (thankfully). The 1997 nominees are: NOMINEE No.1: [San Jose Mercury News] An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Goony bird

After many years of marriage, a husband has turned into a couch potato, became completely inattentive to his wife and sat guzzling beer and watching TV all day. The wife was dismayed because no matter what she did to attract the husband's attention, he'd just shrug her off with some bored comment.... Sign in to see full entry.