Warped thoughts for Monday, December 19, 2011

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Monday, December 19, 2011

Boy, have I got a Haddock!

I went to the doctor and complained I had a terrible Haddock. He said that sounded fishy. He suggested I go to Aspen and call him in the morning. While I was there, I decided to do some skiing, it went downhill after that. They said it was easier to take the chair lift to the top, but I knew they were just trying to take me for a ride. I was warned not to eat yellow snow, so I said in my best John Wayne impression, “I aint gonna eat any scardey cat snow!” It was such a bad impression, no one was... Sign in to see full entry.

The second day of Christmas

All right, who thought of cross-breeding turtles with doves? First, turtles are notoriously shy, I mean its hard to get them to come out of their shells, you know? Then there are the doves, the universal sign of peace, not a piece of action for a turtle. While turtles are rather earthy, doves are quite flighty. Whoever hatched this match knew they both lay eggs but that’s about as far as I dare take it. Forget the pun about a turtle wax job. So if you had a turtledove, what would it look like?... Sign in to see full entry.

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