Limericks

To love the lost sheep we are told is what we should do and not scold. To me it is bunk to love an old drunk since I am both righteous and cold. Sign in to see full entry.

The scariest day of the year is not Halloween but I fear that day in the spring reserved for filing your taxes or fall in arrear. Sign in to see full entry.

If you would live long it is well to be on Death Row for a spell. With lawyer's appeals those grand Justice wheels are slower than mercy in hell. Sign in to see full entry.

Well now, before we go on to the subject of BJ we ought to understand just how your modern-day tented one-ring circus survives in America. Or doesn't. Had you been looking for a small circus to play in your small town a quarter-century ago you would have had your pick of twenty or thirty shows eager... Sign in to see full entry.

The internet helps once again if murdering girls is your yen. They will not be missed when culled from craigslist and butchered like pigs in a pen. Sign in to see full entry.

The generals plan with high glee our strategy for World War Three. Iran is the foe and wouldn't you know my bomb shelter hasn't a key. Sign in to see full entry.

What comes today and goes tomorrow? A lawnchair. Why is a polar bear like a tennis racket? There aren't any here. When is a fish? Afterwards. What time does rain fall? During sleep. Where does lightning strike twice? Underwater. When Einstein was a little boy who was his grandfather? The same man.... Sign in to see full entry.

It looks like we've come to that time when everyone says "paradigm'. Candidates shift it but I have sniffed it -- it smells like the same old flat grime. Sign in to see full entry.

The Blackwater managers claim they shoot not to kill but to maim. Their training includes ignoring all feuds. They treat every corpse just the same. Sign in to see full entry.

Republican? Democrat? Which political party to pitch into the White House that won't make us grouse about the poor son of a.... Sign in to see full entry.