Saturday, August 30, 2008
It's 3a, and I know where my children are: IN BED and ASLEEP!
Although I am in bed, I am not asleep. I got the 3am wakeup call from Richard again. He thought it was breakfast time. I got him to eat supper leftovers that I rewarmed. I don't do mornings well. I don't get good brain perfusion until 10am. He is set on going to the Farmer's Market in the morning so...
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The beautiful sound of silence
I changed internet providers and have been off line for several days. I finished painting the wall downstairs where I moved my land computer. I had remodeled my downstairs into an apartment for Brooke and Scott last year and they had painted the walls black. Black walls did not seem very soothing to...
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Saturday, August 23, 2008
Prayer continued
Well I can't seem to edit my last entry. As I was saying, the hospice nurse called the doctor and gave him my assessment. He was a little upset she hadn't come out to get an assessment and wanted to know my qualifications for the assessment I had given the Hospice Nurse. She told him that I was a...
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What Do I Prayer For
Richard has pneumonia again. This time seems to be different. He is giving up. I don't want to see him sick again and I don't won't him to give up. On the other hand, I don't want him to progress to the point like he was last weekend when he went outside in his underwear and took the bed apart and...
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Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Silence is beautiful
I long for the sound of nothing but that would mean that I would be alone with no TV or it's light to bring comfort to Richard. Then again, how long will have I to have the comfort of it's light and sound until I can be comfortable and rest in the silence of dark. Until then I can escape to the...
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Sunday, August 17, 2008
Can I Runaway?
I want to runaway to the beach. I want a vacation. I want to think of no one but my self. But my guilt of these wants brings a fear that is hard to overcome. It stifles my breathing and freezes my muscles. I cannot move. I have no right to want these things at this time. I have responsiblities to...
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Sunday, August 3, 2008
Weariness
I am so weary, how do I go on? I cry out to God but answers I cannot hear. I call upon my Guides and Angels to bring the messages from God. I think I want to give up. The pain is unbeareable and I have no strength left within my body. How do I get my cells to renew? Please God give me strength. I...
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Wash Over Me
The blue, blue, blue of the ocean, of how I long to see. But most of all, I wish to feel the ocean tide to meet my feet. Lulling me to sleep with the rhythmic motion of the water. Cooling, contrasting between the hot sand and the coolness of the water. Bring dreams of weightlessness and freedom from...
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Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Wishes
Each day gets longer and no rest in sight. A little sleep; just to close my eyes without interuption. But just as soon the day will come and I'll have nothing to do but rest. Instead of rest, I'll wish he were here. For lonliness does not give one rest. Only empty hours with nothing to do. We always...
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Monday, July 21, 2008
Just a Little Rest
I am so tired and I must rest so I can care for you. My soul's determination make weak by this fragile body we inhabit. The daily grind upon my joints to lift and help you walk; takes it toll in pain. Dampening my spirit to give you all I have. The survival of the body and self becomes paramount....
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