Monday, November 23, 2009
WE ALL NEED A DAY TO LOSE OUR SHIT SOMETIMES
Against my better judgment and fighting every muscle in my body, I dragged my ass out of bed today and came to work. The only reason was because if I stayed home I KNEW I would just be depressed and lay in bed intermittently crying all day... getting out of bed afforded a very slim chance of that. I think the easiest way to describe the feeling isn't quite so 'numb' as it is disconnected or regressed. I look at what is in front of me and think of the way my 2 year old cousin jumped up and down...
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Sunday, November 22, 2009
I love you too, Daddy.
I grew up 12-stepping. Some of my earliest memories are sitting in some empty room in a hospital or church with my mother and listening to things no little kid should ever have to hear. Of course, no one thought I was actually listening. I had homework or a book or a doll in front of me and I kept my eyes firmly glued to those objects. My mother started pushing me towards Alateen before I was even old enough to attend, and because I was rebellious and scarred from listening to Al-Anon members...
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Wednesday, November 18, 2009
WHEN NO MEANS ABSO-EFFING-LUTELY NOT
My feelings towards my job for the past two years or so have swung between ambivalent at best and a feeling of being trapped at worst. It all started when I announced that I would be moving to the North Bay in late spring 2007. A little background. When I started working at my job, I had been in California for exactly two weeks and I was the only full-time employee. I worked for two guys that eventually I began to count as friends and we socialized and gossiped and got the work done....
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Friday, November 13, 2009
Heartbreaking Inventory of a Staggering Slut
Here they are, ladies and gents -- all those who passed through these pink gates. 1. Dan (Virgin #1) I was 14, he was 17. This is the character some of you remember as Declan, and my on-off soul mate for 10 years (and still a source of heartache and confusion at infrequent times). 2. James. I was 17 he was 19. I have always claimed that if I had a brain in my heart that this simple, adoring man could have been the end of the line for me, if I only I could have ever been happy with a simple...
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Wednesday, November 4, 2009
I DO THIS EVERY FLUCKIN' YEAR...
It still surprises me when November rolls in each year and the older I get the more I scratch my head and say, "November? Already?" as if I'd been sleep-walking for the past 10 months. If there were no calendars in my life, I would still know when November creeps up on me because I start reading and researching everything Kurt Cobain. You'd think after about 15 years of this, I'd have read and found everything related by now, but I haven't simply because this theme lasts for about 3 weeks, until...
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Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I DO MUCH BETTER WHEN BLIND-SIDED BY DEATH
When I was little, I had a fantasy. Not that I would get a horse for Christmas or marry a handsome prince, but that my grandmother was actually my mother but was so old when she had me that she gave me to my mother to raise. So that paints only the vaguest idea of what my mother's mother means to me. She did cartwheels on my front lawn and could launch a whiffle ball two yards down with a whiffle bat. My childhood adoration gave way to genuine and real respect as a teenager and now an adult. The...
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Tuesday, October 27, 2009
URBAN COMMANDMENTS TAKE 2: THOU SHALT NOT BOINK YOUR EX-ROOMMATE
This is a continuation on this, but the short recap is that my ex-roommate, who we call Will in this here blog and I have remained friends. If there is a female version of me strutting around somewhere on this planet, then Will is it. While roommates we fell into this faux ex-husband/ex-wife relationship, mainly because I am uncannily similar to his ex-wife although infinitely more attractive to Will. We have the same name, same hair, hail from the same part of the same state and other eerie...
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Monday, October 26, 2009
HI, I CAN BE A CREEPY STALKER...
There are a few men scattered throughout my dense past who's stories, for one reason or another, never finished their arc in my life. It was simply time to go for whatever reason, and we amicably parted ways. One of these guys, Jamie, I met when I was at school out here in California during 2001-2002. It was April or May and my friend Rachel and I went down to the city one Sunday to meet up with my uncle and his friends at a salsa bar. Said salsa bar is PACKED on Sundays, with a live band and...
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Tuesday, October 20, 2009
THANK YOU FOR NOT BEING WEIRD, GUY WHO'S HEART I BROKE
So this past weekend I aimed my car South on the 101 for a nice little escape to SF. Friday night I went with my friend and his roommate, my brother, his girlfriend, her sister and a friend of theirs to see Bob Saget at my second-favorite venue, The Warfield (first-favorite is The Fillmore). I like Bob Saget even though his comedy is incredibly dirty, and honestly, that is part of the shock value considering how he was crammed down America's throat as the aw-shucks Dad on Full House and the bad...
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Friday, October 16, 2009
When You're a Better Judge of Character Than Your Partner
Or, When Money Causes All the Problems. And a note, All Parties mentioned herein are legally allowed to grow, consume and sell to licensed businesses in the State of California. Spenser has been cash-strapped lately. Actually, the word is more like 'broke.' It's a long story and not really relevant, let's just say that it was a new experience for him. On top of Duh, he's hired a few friends to trim the plants and I've always maintained that this was a bad idea. You never mix business and friends...
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