Tuesday, September 6, 2005
Letting Go...
So many the times bathed In mourning, sorrow, I ached and ached. Held it tightly, Squeezed every bit of it Into my forceful grip. And of course I can’t move on! My fault, I shoved it deep, And swallowed it whole. Rather than regurgitate it, Spit it, And leave it Where it belongs. But no, I beckoned...
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Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Disassociations...throughout my life...
My dearest one and only How I hurt Hurt so badly Hurt the most I’m bleeding life Please tell me Something, anything, I’m not thinking right Hello? Hello? Are you there? Click! She hung up on me! Yes, my one friend, solely! My dearest one and only Please speak to me Come cleanse I’m inviting I’m...
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Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Backfired...be careful of what strategy you use parents...
Let me summarize a bit, At eighteen my life skidded, Turned 360 in one night So suddenly When my loving mother Threw me out... From an A to a C. From number 12 to number 73. From AP classes to DOT. Out in the world indeed. And there it found me, The horrid monster of irony. Turning into the...
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Monday, August 22, 2005
Active Addiction...those who've been there can understand...
the incomprehensible... Active Addiction Why do I bother with such things, Detrimental to the health, body and soul? Wasting away my days That pile, come together, Unable to sleep or rest. Torturing myself Is what I do best. Knowing well the consequences And yet, I fall again in it’s grip, Defeated,...
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Friday, August 19, 2005
Realization of Dream
Our encounter made me realize The existence of happiness, Mirroring the dreamed life Of husband and wife, Of mutual love and devotion, Finding alas my softer side. Such comfort in knowing You’d be there, Sheltering, nurturing, Providing, Choosing me over all, So simply for care. Catching me if I’d...
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Thursday, August 18, 2005
Monotonous Living
Another falling into the scheme, Monotonous living laid out for us to walk. No matter the turn the end no surprise, An irony, Standing in the path I always mocked. How is it so? I do not know. Here a worker, a wife, The usual way of life. Wanting to sow my mark, Be theocratic, the philosophical...
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Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Destructive Mechanism
How little love for me, Wasting away, Cutting back life. Every cigarette SEVERAL less minutes, Times TWO PACKS a day. PLUS my usual poisoning… WHAT? I’d rather not say. Just about EVERYTHING And anything to SPEED the process, BEAT me TILL I’m dead. YET so well I DISGUISE it, Behind my...
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Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Borderline Personality Disorder
Borderline personality disorder, My new diagnostic, And I find it amusing. Finally fitting a definition, Concrete reality, Sole consistency so sadly. How wonderfully enchanting To be blessed with instability, Inability to conceive reality, Live happily. Idolizing to extremes, Then regretfully...
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Tuesday, July 12, 2005
Dreams
Dreams are but a stepping stone, Blue prints of our reality, Revealed through perseverance, Until they perfectly formed, Carved in stone. All so simple, If you endeavor, Desire, and reap, With determination. The power of creation Is in our hands. Just build it, Use your imagination. Then dreams...
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Thursday, June 16, 2005
Madness
Madness Let me explain this overwhelming madness, It’s a sort of maze, complex, Puzzle of some kind, Solely for the genius mind. To unsolve under the dim of moonlight. The walk heavies by rain, Shadowy thick fog, Shaped like spider webs, Trapped like prey, glued, stuck. But in the end, Sweet sanity...
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