Bra Pat's Urban Legends

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Black Friday

‘We wake up to a Black Friday this morning’ the announcer said over the radio on Friday 6 th December. I thought he was referring to the first Friday after Thanksgiving Day in the USA that ushers in the pre-Xmas spending spree that will move retailers bank accounts from the ‘Red’ into the ‘Black’. I... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The African Venus

Copyright Setaki 2013 MMA-MORIRI MOTSHWANA, ‘Susana the Black Haired Goddess of Love The Bird secretes Milk though not a Cow.’ These are the words of an old, cryptic African wedding song with erotic undertones. Because the male sexual organ is also known as a ‘bird’, perhaps because of its shape,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Penya-Penya Jives

COPYRIGHT SETAKI 2013 These are lascivious dances that censors in the past would have banned from TV, or if performed in public, would have led to the arrest of the dancers. The censors of the then apartheid-era Publications Board liked to describe such actions or writings as “having no artistic... Sign in to see full entry.

Muddy Sclera of de African

The sclera, white of the eyes of the patient, had turned a brownish-yellow after many years of hard drinking that had affected his liver. “And what would you say is the probable cause of the patient’s Jaundice, doctor?” Professor X asked the recently qualified Dr Dindwa during a ward round. “With... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Sheila's Day

Copyright SETAKI 2013 In the fifties, when parks were for whites only, on Thursdays, black live-in domestic workers used to gather on the grass pavements of the suburb they worked in. They would chat, gossip and play records on a gramophone. Favorite songs were Pata-Pata, Rosie my Girl and Tennessee... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

The Durban July

Copyright Setaki 2013 This was previously the Rothman’s July Handicap when horse racing and Fah-Fee (The Chinese numbers game) were the main gambling activities in the country. The horse racing was legal, the Fah-Fee was not. This was before Casinos and The Lotto existed and cigarette manufacturers... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Xmas Chicken

In the past, chicken was a delicacy that we only enjoyed on Christmas Day. That was when chicken still tasted like chicken and not like fish. The vile practice of feeding hormones to day old chicks to hasten their growth and fatten them had not taken root yet. The chicken was ‘slaughtered’ on... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Aliens

An alien Investigative Journalist from outer space visited Earth to find out why Pluto had lost its status as one of the planets of our solar system. He was mystified by what he came across. He visited Cape Town when ‘crosstuition’ was at its peak. It was a process that allowed Councilors of... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

LUMP IN THE THROAT; OLIVER TWIST

Every evening my friend Monde, wanted to play a little longer with me, but had to go home before his father returned from work. He would rush home and wait at the gate, sometimes for more than an hour, even in winter or on rainy days. A broad smile would appear on his face when his father arrived.... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

SUFFER LITTLE CHILDREN

“Morning Paulos.” Suzie said to Baba Kumalo, the school bus driver, every morning she boarded the special school bus transporting children from the suburbs to the inner city Hatfield Preparatory School. “Hallo Paulos” Little Johnny used to say. “A very good morning to you too Missy” Baba Kumalo... Sign in to see full entry.

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