Poetic Jokes...

Hello, and welcome to the mental health hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5, and 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line... Sign in to see full entry.

'Doctor, I've got this terrible problem with wind.' (Frrrpt, frrrpt.) 'Dear, dear,' said the doctor. 'It is bad, isn't it. How long has this been going on?' (Frrrpt, frrrpt.) 'About a week, doctor.' 'Right,' said the doctor. He went to a cupboard and came back carrying a long broom handle with a... Sign in to see full entry.

Chris Rock's Quote of the Day: "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, theSwiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three... Sign in to see full entry.

A woman's dishwasher had stopped working, so she called a repairman. He couldn't accommodate her with an evening appointment, and since she had to go to work the next day, she told him "I'll leave the key under the mat. Fix the dishwasher, leave the bill on the counter, and I'll mail you the check.... Sign in to see full entry.

Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? So the Germans could march in the shade. Why do the French have huge heads? To accommodate their huge mouths. What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blownapart. Heard about the new French-Chinese wine?... Sign in to see full entry.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS >Smart man + smart woman = romance > >Smart man + dumb woman = affair > >Dumb man + smart woman = marriage > >Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy > > >OFFICE ARITHMETIC > >Smart boss + smart employee = profit > >Smart boss + dumb employee = production > >Dumb boss + smart employee... Sign in to see full entry.

Peter Arnett has been fired from NBC… After his moments of fame on Iraqi TV He has since apologized… For perhaps speaking his mind Or was he a victim of the enemy’s intimidation? No one knows… But he is surely a casualty of the war A member of the fighting media family… Who just couldn’t help but... Sign in to see full entry.

OSAMA secrets exposed: O is for- overweening S is for- Satanic A is for- ass-hole M is for- Mr. Bush's prey A is for- alive or dead I wonder how prominent Osama is on the list of favorite baby names… Sign in to see full entry.

No more French fries… They are now Freedom fries No more French toast They are now referred to as Freedom toast The French appears to be isolated in the Americas… And daily it’s getting more un-French-ed The Perrier water doesn’t taste the same anymore The wine of French… is un-preferred Someone is... Sign in to see full entry.

What are you laughing about? There is nothing funny Why are you grinning? All alone and having fun You are now talking to yourself… And answering too! What’s going on with you? You are now taking your clothes off… And is now naked as you were born You are going out the door… Oh! Walking down the... Sign in to see full entry.