I Kept The Baby

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Not right for me

I just read a divorce article that said after a divorce one must accept that you were not the right person for them and they were not the right person for you. A light went on in my head when I read that. Now, whenever I want to scream "Why did you leave me? Why weren't you there for me? Why aren't... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

You're doing it, I'm doing it

I just want to say to all you single parents out there, even though it seems like you are exhausted, losing patience, losing sanity, losing hope, you are still here. You are still alive. You are still making it happen. Give yourself credit for that. Be a comfort to your children and let them be a... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 10, 2006

potential Christmas conflict

She will be 9 months old this Saturday and this reminds me that her first birthday is approaching. Will he call to acknowledge her birthday? Probably not, because she will still be too young to understand the concept of birthdays. Too young to understand that he is her father. So he probably won't... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

No, I didn't invite anyone to the christening

I didn't really tell my family about the christening. I thought I wouldn't want them there because they would have seen it as a happy occasion and I felt anything but happy. I am sad that my daughter was born out-of-wedlock and that her father didn't want to be there for her christening. I was... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Christening

She was christened on Sunday. I did not name any godparents. It was just me and my baby at the front of the church. The ministers and deacons anointed and blessed her, they did the same to me. I felt so good. Before the actual christening, I felt so incomplete. Why should I be facing the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 19, 2006

I called him on Father's Day

He didn't answer his phone, so I left him a brief, polite Father's Day greeting. He hasn't called back and I don't expect him to. I am just wondering what I will do when he finally decides to be a part of his daughter's life. I am having a hard time grappling with the fact that he may choose to... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 8, 2006

Blended

I'm not sure that I'll be able to do the blended family thing in the future. The stats on blended families are not good...at all. The marriages tend not to make it to the five-year mark and often fall apart because of conflicts in parenting styles and other issues. And when it comes to child abuse,... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 5, 2006

Special moments

We cuddle as she nurses and I think of how precious this time is. For in a few more months she won't need the breast. Eventually, she won't need to be diapered, nursed, bathed, dressed, chauffeured by me. She'll be 18 someday... leaving me to go to college perhaps. I'm enjoying being needed for now. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

Don't do this

If you can avoid getting pregnant for a man who doesn't want you and the baby, avoid it. Avoid it. Don't listen do people who tell you that sex is ok because you're an adult. Sex without commitment is really not ok. It's empty, shallow, emotionally damaging...even if you don't get pregnant, even if... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

One question

What makes it possible for someone to walk away from their own child and not look back? Sign in to see full entry.

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