Thinking Out Loud.

By CunningLinguist - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Opinion

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

The First Title Didn't Work Zone

As your next elected official, I promise to make many promises. I have decided not to run as a Democrat nor as a Republican, because I recently found out that certain people don't vote for you if you are one and not the other. My staff and I have discussed the possibility of creating our own party... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 10:06 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Tonight on Dr. Shill

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posted by CunningLinguist at 10:25 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

On the Backwards Front

My whole life I've been suffering from what doctors call long-term temporary insanity. It's a pre-existing condition. Let me ask you something, though. How can something be "pre-existing?" It existed prior to its existence? That's a Zen ice cream koan right there. A riddle wrapped in an enigma... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:44 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, January 7, 2008

Insert Title Here

I'm temporarily blocking my writer's block because I no longer enjoy playing with blocks. They're squares, man! Truth is, I'm on performance enhancing drugs, which is really sad, because this is as good as it gets. OK, so if that's not really true, but I have schizophrenia and one of my... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 11:13 AM | add or view comments (12) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, November 16, 2007

Writers Guild On Strike

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posted by CunningLinguist at 1:35 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Why I Don't Write - To Whom It May Concern

I use voice recognition software called Dragon Naturally Speaking, because I'm physically disabled -- no use of my hands. Dragon has been at the forefront of voice software for well over a decade. When I started out with them they were called Dragon Dictate and the software was much more efficient... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 12:48 PM | add or view comments (14) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

God Explains Himself

And answers the age-old question: Why Ain't The Sky Purple? I wanted the sky to be purple. I really did! But politics got in the way, as is usually the case. Okay, picture this: you’re busy creating the universe, right? Trying to figure out how many rings to put on Saturn, making sure the Big Dipper... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:28 AM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

My Job As An Unemployed Guy

Blogit doesn't pay enough. How am I going to put my kids through college on my blogging salary? I don't have any kids, so if they did go to college that would be impressive, but I'm just saying. I wanted to buy a new Lamborghini. Is that going to be possible under the current payment structure?... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:26 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, October 15, 2007

Perspectives

You're born at a very young age. You're dragged out from the sanctuary of mother's womb-service, naked and cold. Everybody is bigger than you and smells bad. You have no idea what to expect from this place you now find yourself in and you're scared. Everyone makes noises, looking at you as if you're... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 9:18 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, October 12, 2007

A Peace of Ass

I really thought I had an opportunity at the Nobel Peace Prize this year. I didn't kill anybody all year. In fact, it's been a long time since I've killed anybody. I'm showing a lot of restraint, in my opinion. My mother bought me an automatic assault rifle, too, but did I use it? No. All the other... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by CunningLinguist at 8:15 AM | add or view comments (9) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I sit up here, taking up space in my spaceship, while observing planet earth with all its quirky whats, whatnots, and what-have-yous, and I attempt to solve all the world's problems with mental duct tape and saran wrap. The solutions to all the wurl's woes can be found here in cryptic candy coding. (Like The Da Vinci Code starring Forrest Gump.) If you can't see the answers, your questioning comes into question.

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