Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to My brother made the front page news again. Will this nightmare never end?
My heart goes out to you every time I hear of your troubles. Hang in there girl, and ignore fwmystic. It's people like that--the insensitive ones--that are making this so hard for you. Things WILL get better for you, we promise! 
posted by
Tandra
on October 21, 2005 at 1:00 PM
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Quirky, I'm sorry to read about this once again. I think you're right. It's the smallness of the town that means there may well never be a story to replace it. All you can do is endure.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on October 21, 2005 at 6:43 AM
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sorry, Quirky, to hear
about your heartbreak that won't let go. Time is such a strange thing, expands and contracts like an accordion. Something that happened 50 years ago is as close as this morning. The old pain blooms fresh. I hope all the hugs from your friends on Blogit have helped a bit.
posted by
Pat_B
on October 21, 2005 at 5:59 AM
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Quirky --
the media does go on - does it not? Anything to sell papers. People do talk and they can be very inconsiderate and unfeeling. It is all escalated in a small town (believe me, I know as I live in a small town) I am truly sorry to hear of your family's experience. Wishing you peace in this matter...
red
posted by
redlunar
on October 20, 2005 at 4:46 PM
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How painful for you...
Quirky: you are always so quick to offer support and prayers for those in need--you have such a sweet, kind soul that is evident in your posts. I am grateful that you have the fortitude to share such personal (and painful!) thoughts with us, so that maybe, WE can offer YOU support when needed. Please know that even though we've never met, I am thinking of you and your family...
~LB~ xo
posted by
Anony_Miss
on October 20, 2005 at 3:23 PM
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Quirky I am really sorry about this, I can only imagine how painful
this must be. As you know I am a defender of the media and being an ex-cop with 26 years on the job, incidents like this are never good. The police have to do their job. When evidence is found like this it has to be handled and we never know what else we may learn. Also the items going back to the family brings a little more closure that they now have those personal items from the loved one. As far as the media it all depends on how they handle it. It can be done with class or they can be idiots and make it a splashy scene. Hopefully this will be the end of it. My best to you and hope your mother is handling it OK.
posted by
scoop
on October 20, 2005 at 1:49 PM
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Hey Quirky,
I agree that this should never have been news. It is completely insensitive to ALL of the families involved to be rehashing an old crime in order to get people to read a paper. I can only imagine what happens when one of those more infamous killers comes up for parole ... so many families of victims and the killer have to go through it all over again... people finally treat them normally for a while and then poof...they are back to having people ogling them again?
Hope that wasn't insensitive just by saying those things Quirky... I am just trying ineptly to portray my disgust with the media as usual...
posted by
FactorFiction
on October 20, 2005 at 1:15 PM
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Quirky...well-written....
My heart breaks every time I read a post where you and your family must re-live this tragedy over and over again. I don't know what else to say.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on October 20, 2005 at 1:05 PM
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Folks
I think we are giving WAY too much attention to the one person who takes pleasure in showing their ignorance around here. This same person I blocked from blog for making comments that anyone with any iota of sensitivity would have never said.
FW likes the attention, the more you give the more you feed this behavior. As someone said in a forum I used to post in "DON'T FEED THE TROLL!"
Quirky, consider the source and don't let it get to you.
posted by
Bel_
on October 20, 2005 at 12:38 PM
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Quirky, I wish you would just ignore fwmystic's comments.........
I'm sure you and your family have all the compassion in the world for the families of those your brother did harm to, but it's certainly not your fault or your doings. Those comments are just not fair. I'm sorry the town keeps rehashing it for all of you. I wish they would just let it die for the sake of you and your family, but people seem to thrive on this kind of thing. Forgive their ignorance.
I wish a good day for you.
posted by
MaggieMae
on October 20, 2005 at 12:32 PM
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I've read this four times and not once could I think of anything meaningful
to say. I even went online and tried to figure out who your brother is (sorry), just so I could get a better grasp of it all. But I guess there is no way to grasp any of it, is there? And that's what makes it all so hard. That's the thing about having someone you love do something very bad... Not only are you left to struggle with your emotions, but you're left standing in front of a public firing squad of opinion and gossip for many years. I've been there, hun, and it sucks. Period. Let me say it again. It sucks... How's that for eloquant?
posted by
Renigade
on October 20, 2005 at 10:19 AM
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Can't think of a good cliché... but hang in there my baby...
posted by
Gubby
on October 20, 2005 at 8:24 AM
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Wow...
I'm sorry to hear that this experience keeps haunting you and your family in such a public way...
posted by
RachelAnna
on October 20, 2005 at 8:03 AM
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quirky
I'm sorry we live in such a society that violence is entertainment.
posted by
avant-garde
on October 20, 2005 at 7:59 AM
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thanks for sharing...
that's really a sad story... i know it is hard, but keep strong
posted by
Marshallengraved
on October 20, 2005 at 6:54 AM
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I am sorry to hear that this is being dredged up again.
It is sad how people thrive on the misery of others.
posted by
Original_Influence
on October 20, 2005 at 3:42 AM
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I guess newspapers will write about anything. Its sad for you and your family.
posted by
Ca88andra
on October 20, 2005 at 1:40 AM
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Quirky-sorry to hear of this painful situation. You're in my prayers. These people have no right to judge your brother and your family. We all commit sin when we think about doing it. How many people commit the act of murder by thinking about it everday? The bible said
anyone without sin should cast a stone. Cheer up!
posted by
Aria4
on October 19, 2005 at 7:56 PM
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Quirky
It's easy to think about the families of murder victims and they deserve to be thought about, but I've often felt that the families of the perpetrators are in an absolutely awful situation. They will be just as horrified by the crime as the rest of the community, yet here they are, linked to it by family ties. Many people in the community can react stupidly in situations like this, and the "shared bad seed" concept is a good example of such stupidity. Right now, I'm trying to imagine my own brother (who I love) going out and killing someone tomorrow and I'm trying to imagine how I would grapple with the whole mess that would follow. I haven't been able to imagine it successfully. So my heart goes out to you because you have actually been put in this position, you don't have the luxury of just imagining it.
posted by
Lensman
on October 19, 2005 at 7:47 PM
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Quirky
Stay strong, like we know you are.My prayers for you and your family, and especially those nephews and nieces, who werent even born when these things happened. lots of hugs...Meringue.
posted by
Meringue
on October 19, 2005 at 7:35 PM
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Fwmystic
I think it is time you thought more before you hit the post button on comments. Quirky and her family are not to blame for what happened, and the least we can do is understand the trauma they are still going through so long after the whole incident.You must be having your own reasons for saying what you are saying, but can we be a bit more sensitive please?
posted by
Meringue
on October 19, 2005 at 7:32 PM
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fwmystic, why don't you try to show a little sensitivity instead of running
your mouth like that at her? This is a very sensitive issue for her and I wonder if you stopped to think before leaving such a comment?
posted by
Ariala
on October 19, 2005 at 7:23 PM
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Quirky - sorry, I don't get it ...
your bro killed 3 people in a sleepy little town and you think it's NOT news, even years later??? Time does heal all wounds, but I don't think you would be so quick to forgive if someone in your old hometown wigged out and killed a member of your family.
posted by
fwmystic
on October 19, 2005 at 7:21 PM
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Big hugs for you my friend
posted by
Bel_
on October 19, 2005 at 7:20 PM
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Quirkey
Who knows why small towns are like that, but they indeed are. Sorry about it coming up for your family and you again.
posted by
Offy
on October 19, 2005 at 7:11 PM
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Quirky,
I have to confess to committing your pet peeve of peeking without commenting, but I was afraid you might think I was one of them thar aforementioned "nut jobs" sneaking into Blogitville to rile up the townfolk. I have much catching up to do since my 4 month hiatus, and it seems you've had your hands full keeping your spirits up in a very trying situation. Don't let those b*** wear you down! (the blogger formerly known as MaryX).
posted by
Blanche.
on October 19, 2005 at 7:09 PM
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Quirky
I am sorry for you having to re-live this again, and for your family. I am always so heartened and inspired by you. I'm sure this new ratings grab will die down soon. I'm thinking of you.
posted by
Georgia
on October 19, 2005 at 7:05 PM
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Quirky--
Much empathy and wisdom in these comments. Not more I can say except that I care.
posted by
Hemlocker
on October 19, 2005 at 7:03 PM
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Quirky, I'm glad I don't live there too --- either?
posted by
ARGUS
on October 19, 2005 at 4:51 PM
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I'm glad to hear that you've got the strength to endure, even if you had to move away. I'll keep your family and you in my prayers and hope that this all dies down soon. God loves your brother no matter what, and until those people realize that, they will never shut up. Just turn your thoughts to that and pray for divine strength.
posted by
Tandra
on October 19, 2005 at 3:14 PM
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People are indeed cruel
and especially so in small towns, often. I'm so sorry you have been touched by this horror --I can't imagine what that must be like. And so much grief to carry, too. These things just
happen. Your folks must be bewildered and heartbroken. I wish we all here had a way to pull together and fix it.
posted by
curator
on October 19, 2005 at 3:05 PM
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Quirkly
Unfortunately for us all, human nature adores the macabre, the grim & grusome...murder especially. I am saddened that this has resurfaced for you and your family. Nothing like small towns to make a living hell for your Mom & family. Wish I could wave a wand & make it all go away. Sending you positive thoughts, prayers & energy...
(Please let me know if I can do something for you. Even if it's just listening while you blow off some steam...that's why God gave us two ears & only one mouth).
posted by
ravencat18
on October 19, 2005 at 3:05 PM
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Oh Quirky, how numbing
Deepest regrets for you and your family. Media always seems to get hyper and idiotic over something like this, whipping people into a frenzy. Especially in a small town. I'm surprised your family still lives there...maybe it's time for them to relocate eh? Take care friend.
posted by
Katray2
on October 19, 2005 at 3:00 PM
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Quirky....
I am truly sorry for your family and you. Children do suffer over these things because other children repeat what they hear at home or elsewhere, I hope people are kind in their thoughts!
posted by
BrightIrish
on October 19, 2005 at 1:55 PM
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Our society thrives on this type of thing
It is sad, indeed, that society finds something like this so enthralling--even many years after the fact. But since people love to gossip, the sad fact will always remain that this type of "news" will always make the papers and will always start tongues wagging.
I will send my thoughts and prayers to you and your family who are so deeply affected by this discovery and the media surrounding it.
*big hugs*
posted by
Jemmie211
on October 19, 2005 at 1:15 PM
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Quirky,...
These sentences say exactly why this will never die...
The murders are entrenched in this little community, like a part of the town's life-force. My brother is destined to be the local legend, the murders never ever forgotten. And so it goes. This is just one more chapter in a long, heartbreaking book called "Digging Up Bones: skeletons from small-town USA."
I suppose that your family will have to continue doing what they have done in the past. Be strong and weather the storm again until it subsides.
posted by
word.smith
on October 19, 2005 at 1:06 PM
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Sorry to hear this. It begs the question too why the police didn't wrap up these loose ends years ago? It would be better to close the case for all concerned. I detest muckraking - it is like feeding vultures. Take care
posted by
Azur
on October 19, 2005 at 1:04 PM
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Quirks... the same thing goes on in my town about murders that
happened 30 and 15 years ago. Since they are so few and far between, it's headline news anytime something is uncovered. It'll come up again if there's another murder as well.
I'm sorry that your family has to go through it over and over again. Is your last name a very uncommon name? It's sad, but sounds like notoriety in a small town... it will probably never end. Has the other side of the story ever been presented in your hometown newspapers? If not, maybe you should write it for them?
posted by
-blackcat
on October 19, 2005 at 1:04 PM
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Geeze.some journalists do not see every side of a story.
posted by
PhillysTales
on October 19, 2005 at 12:53 PM
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Quirk
Hun I am so sorry! Sending you a cyberspace hug~ stay strong
posted by
cosy
on October 19, 2005 at 12:00 PM
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Lord have mercy, Quirky. Sorry for the renewed pain.
posted by
Hollee
on October 19, 2005 at 11:49 AM
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Quirky,
Its called journalism at its worst. Anytime there can be a profit made from sensationalism of a past murder, then everyone is going to try to jump on the band wagon. They don't care how much it hurts your family. I am so sorry this happened. Special prayers for both you and your mom. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on October 19, 2005 at 11:35 AM
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Quirky, I'm sorry to hear that yet another incident has occurred to
cause this sort of attention to your family and your brother.
posted by
Ariala
on October 19, 2005 at 11:33 AM
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Quirkyalone,
posted by
jacentaOld
on October 19, 2005 at 11:28 AM
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I am so sorry! I feel your pain in your words and now understand your true emotion and need. I wish there was something I could say or do to help heal the pain of so many years you have had to endure.
posted by
Jillians.New-Beginning
on October 19, 2005 at 11:27 AM
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Quirky I am sending you an email
posted by
scoop
on October 19, 2005 at 11:26 AM
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Lisa--
thanks. I'm doing okay but my dear mother isn't, she just takes it all in and though she never forgets, when it comes out again it is really hard for her to deal with.
posted by
Julia.
on October 19, 2005 at 11:23 AM
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Tandra--
I think you are probably right--I'm sure most of them mean no harm but they should think before they gossip.
posted by
Julia.
on October 19, 2005 at 11:22 AM
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posted by
_Symphony_
on October 19, 2005 at 11:21 AM
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Be strong Quirky, hopefully this will pass soon...
I'll keep your family in my thoughts and prayers...been in the small town environment, and it can be difficult to say the least. I don't understand why the paper needs to report this and can feel for the pain you and your family must feel. May they be strong through this.
posted by
LifeByLisa
on October 19, 2005 at 11:20 AM
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Mia--
Unfortunately that is the way it goes for us, the story resurfaces all the time for one reason or another. This is just one more in a long list. Thank you for your comment.
posted by
Julia.
on October 19, 2005 at 11:09 AM
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I can imagine this would be difficult to bear...Just remember that those people who have nothing better to talk about but others will reap their retribution eventually.
posted by
Tandra
on October 19, 2005 at 11:09 AM
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Quirkyalone
wow...that would be incredibly difficult to bare...ugh...
posted by
MiaElla
on October 19, 2005 at 11:05 AM
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