Go to I WRITE, THEREFORE I AM
- Add a comment
- Go to For some, tomorrow never comes
reni--
You, at a loss for words? Impossible! Thanks for commenting, though!
posted by
Julia.
on July 21, 2005 at 10:13 PM
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Wow...What a story. I'm truly at a loss for words. Well told, though.
posted by
Renigade
on July 21, 2005 at 9:48 PM
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Thanks Quirky
posted by
ANTIMATTER
on July 21, 2005 at 9:29 PM
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poor Crayon--I'll say an extra prayer for her tonight. And you as well.
posted by
Julia.
on July 21, 2005 at 9:24 PM
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Quirky, I am taking her to a new vet tomorrow. she is still hurting. thank
you for asking.
posted by
ANTIMATTER
on July 21, 2005 at 9:13 PM
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jacenta--
I very much appreciate your sweet words, thank you.
posted by
Julia.
on July 21, 2005 at 9:12 PM
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antimatter, thanks.
How is Crayon doing?
posted by
Julia.
on July 21, 2005 at 9:11 PM
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Quirkyalone,
I am sorry that you experienced the sadness, that you have had to face. Life is full of trials and tribulations, along with precious moments of love and caring. I picture you as a young girl, facing all you had to face. It is so sad.
Quirkyalone, you are a strong person and I am glad your mother was able to talk to her son that evening. I wish I could take all the hurt you felt then and now away. I do not even pretend to understand all the grief you went through and still feel. Relationships are really what matters. Giving our love and caring to others. You are right that it is important to let those people you love, know how we really feel. Take Care of yourself.
jacenta
posted by
jacentaOld
on July 21, 2005 at 7:16 PM
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words of wisdom
posted by
ANTIMATTER
on July 21, 2005 at 5:40 PM
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word.smith--
kid?? lol--that's a new one!
posted by
Julia.
on July 21, 2005 at 5:35 PM
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You keep pressing on kid.
posted by
word.smith
on July 21, 2005 at 2:56 PM
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Thanks Just,
And I answered you back!
posted by
Julia.
on July 20, 2005 at 10:09 PM
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Quirky, I again am so sorry. I have answered your question on that post.
This is mind boggling.
posted by
Justi
on July 20, 2005 at 10:01 PM
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thanks Jimmy!!
posted by
Julia.
on July 20, 2005 at 9:35 PM
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WhiteJedi,
I'm not really sure where that came from, in relation to my post, but thank you for commenting!
posted by
Julia.
on July 20, 2005 at 9:34 PM
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katray, thank you.
So good to see you again, I hope everything is getting worked out with your situation.
posted by
Julia.
on July 20, 2005 at 9:33 PM
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A hard way for a little girl to learn such a thing...
but a valuable lesson nonetheless...peace Quirky, you deserve some...
posted by
jimmy68
on July 20, 2005 at 9:14 PM
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MysticG--
your comments mean the world to me. Thank you so much.
posted by
Julia.
on July 20, 2005 at 5:38 PM
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Factor,
I don't know whether to say thank you...or...I'm sorry!
posted by
Julia.
on July 20, 2005 at 5:37 PM
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This lowers my already extremely low opinion of cops. The majority of them seem to be lazy, aragont bastards who don't care how many people get hurt. Cops have too much power. Power that is often used to harm. It's just not right.
posted by
WhiteJedi
on July 20, 2005 at 5:37 PM
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shadow--
people are going to think I'm paying you a cut of my blogit earnings to say such nice things! ;-)
posted by
Julia.
on July 20, 2005 at 5:36 PM
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Such painfully wrought wisdom Quirky..
I learned this lesson the hard way with my own father; never knew quite how to express it, you do so in a poignant way that touches deep.
posted by
Katray2
on July 20, 2005 at 4:28 PM
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Quirky
If we observe life, really take in her lessons, she will teach us . Your story is very poignant because it is full of valuable lessons and you write it from a hauntingly reflective place...in your tale i hear the voice of the young person who this happened to, the one of the woman unraveling the event, and the wise person integrating it into your life experience...all voices are you and all are valuable! Speak on, we listen
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on July 20, 2005 at 10:27 AM
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Quirky -
Now please don't take this as a bad thing...but your post makes me want to throw up.(it's an emotional thing) You must be writing well. Although it did just occur to me that there could be an additional explanation, but I'd have to wait and see on that one. It's weird...
posted by
FactorFiction
on July 20, 2005 at 6:34 AM
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Quirky,
What can I say but you are my hero. Your wisdom and courage should be a inspiration to all. Shadow
posted by
Keshet
on July 19, 2005 at 11:19 PM
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MysticG--
how very insightful you are...I think you have it exactly right, in all respects. Thanks very much for your comment.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 10:22 PM
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word.smith,
oh, he'd see him again, just not alive. I do have a hard time talking to my Dad about all of this, I know it is uncomfortable for him as well as me, but like you said, I need to know these things. Not just for my book, for me personally.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 10:20 PM
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Military Wife--
It sounds like you have a handle on what is really important, bless you. And thanks for your kind words, they mean a lot.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 10:19 PM
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Quirky-Girl
That is one powerful lesson you had, and you really know the truth of what you say.My husband and I are rarely very mad at each other but we used to have an occassional donny brooke and i eventually came to a place where i could see it was not wise to go to sleep letting ourselves feel anger and hurt, so I learned to bite my tongue and swallow my petty hurt and tell him i loved him in spite of being mad, my love transcended my temporary anger, and we still do that if need be. Like you so poignantly point out, missed opportunities are truely missed and can haunt one forever, even if you get over the guilt you don't get over the sorrow....because there was no tomorrow, in which to say i love you. Your Mother was wise and giving, your father self occupied and insensitive, and everything has a consequence.
posted by
MysticGmekeepr
on July 19, 2005 at 7:57 PM
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If you ever plan to write a book, you'll need to know all about that.
For now, I guess it would be interesting to know how he felt when he realized that he wouldn't be seeing his son again.
posted by
word.smith
on July 19, 2005 at 6:16 PM
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Quirky
This past years those words have become my mantra. I have learned that tommorow is not a guarantee and if I do nothing else, I try to never forget that with the people I love. I cna put off cleaning the house, getting an oil change or cutting the grass...but saying "I love you" may not come back around again. While I know you may not always see it yourself...you are an amazing woman.
posted by
Bel_
on July 19, 2005 at 5:34 PM
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Benny,
Yes I guess the reasoning is the same; you just never know what will happen. Thanks for the visit.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 5:29 PM
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word.smith,
I don't know, I never asked him. But I think I might ask him now.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 5:28 PM
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Ma-Soom,
The short answer is yes, there was evidence. If you are interested in reading some more about it, I can give you links to other posts. Thanks for your comment.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 5:28 PM
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Reminds of a saying my grandfather used
to say a lot, that is similar to that sentiment. "Never go to bed on an argument" Hope you are ok
posted by
Benny-the-door
on July 19, 2005 at 4:14 PM
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Reminds of a saying my grandfather used
to say a lot, that is similar to that sentiment. "Never go to bed on an argument" Hope you are ok
posted by
Benny-the-door
on July 19, 2005 at 4:14 PM
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Did it weigh on your father any, the fact that he waited to visit?
Sad.
posted by
word.smith
on July 19, 2005 at 3:02 PM
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Was there evidence?
I haven't read your entire story, but was there physical evidence that your brother was the murderer. Any evidence that his was a true confession?
posted by
Ma-Soom
on July 19, 2005 at 2:16 PM
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malcom...
oh, tomorrow comes all right...just not the way we always expect. Thanks for reading!
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 2:07 PM
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Thank you for sharing this
I hope that expressing your terrible experience in words is helping in some way. We're there for you whenever you need us. But you're right. tomorrow never comes.
posted by
malcolm
on July 19, 2005 at 2:01 PM
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Offbeatpub,
thank you for your comment and your support. I truly appreciate it.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 1:56 PM
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UsualSuspect--
To answer the question about my father...yes, that was pretty typical...he often just could not or WOULD NOT get involved in his children's lives when they were less than perfect. As for learning, well, I sure hope thatI have!!
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 1:42 PM
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Quirky
The more I read of your posts about your brother and family, the more I learn about the situation. It is an amazing journey your family has gone through. You are a strong person, I doubt most of us could that strong. And your Mother, God Bless her, she had the strength of Solomon. It had to be very hard on your family when everything came out. I am sorry this happened to all of you~~
posted by
Offy
on July 19, 2005 at 1:35 PM
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Jemmie Bean,
thank you; I appreciate you saying it!
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 1:25 PM
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whacky--
yeah, that's a good philosophy to have, and to practice every day!
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 1:22 PM
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And the plot thickens...
Well, I think I can speak for most readers when I say, Jesus Christ! What was your father thinking? Was that behavior typical of him? It's amazing to think so much heartbreak could occur in one family. At least it seems as though you've reaped the wisdom of many hard lessons and mistakes made by others...at least.
posted by
UsualSuspect
on July 19, 2005 at 1:02 PM
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A good lesson to learn
Sorry it had to be learned in such a traumatic way. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I admire your strength in writing about this.
posted by
Jemmie211
on July 19, 2005 at 11:57 AM
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So that's why my folks never went to bed mad at each other.
And never left the house without saying "I love you." It caught on with me and I kissed both of them before they passed on, and said "I love you."
You really put this ito prespective for me...thanks.
Take care,
posted by
Whacky
on July 19, 2005 at 11:41 AM
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Anna,
You're welcome, and thank YOU for your comment!
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 9:42 AM
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blackcat,
yes, for sure. We just never know.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 9:41 AM
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Medusa,
That's a great quote; I understand it perfectly! Thanks for taking the time to comment.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 9:41 AM
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mmm-w, thanks.
It has made me realize you just cannot count on tomorrow.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 9:40 AM
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Quirky,
That is so true...so, so very true...thanks for reminding me...like many others, I sometimes take tomarrow for granted...none of us should...
posted by
SincerityAnna
on July 19, 2005 at 9:37 AM
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Quirky.... very true.
We all need to appreciate what we have, for in an instant it could all be gone.
posted by
-blackcat
on July 19, 2005 at 9:27 AM
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Quirkyalone.....Brilliant post....
My heart breaks for you and your family. My late father used to always say, "It's later than you think." Now, as I get older, I truly understand what he meant. I am so sorry for our loss.
posted by
MedusaNextDoor
on July 19, 2005 at 9:12 AM
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how sad, but so true.... we aren't guaranteed a minute more then what we have........ such a sad and yet important post, Quirky!
posted by
mmm-w
on July 19, 2005 at 9:02 AM
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LLM--
well, some people have to learn the hard way I guess.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 8:54 AM
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sassy--
my heart breaks for that girl, as I know all too well what that feels like. She is going to need to find a way to overcome these things, and I can tell you, it won't be easy. I will pray for her. I wish that there was some other way for me to help her, and I'm going to think about it. As for not knowing someone close to you...that was one of the first posts I wrote about this.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 8:47 AM
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frankk--
thanks for your comment. It's been a slow process, and it's still evolving, but I am facing things long buried and doing okay. thanks again.
posted by
Julia.
on July 19, 2005 at 8:42 AM
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Quirky,
I couldn't agree more. I just wish more people would take that attitude. God bless you.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on July 19, 2005 at 8:37 AM
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This is sad
and I know of many families that have suffered due to a family members lack in judgment or because of mental illness. My daughters go to school with a girl who is tortured by the other kids because her father and uncle killed a man. They are still in prison, but whenever a killing happens around here, they tease her that it was her father that did it. There are many people close to us that are capable of doing things that we would never dream that they would ever do. It comes down to that old passage "you never really know anyone quite as well as you think you do". This covers everything from theft, adultery, lying, rape, molestation, and just a lack of character in the person you loved all together.
posted by
Sherri_G
on July 19, 2005 at 8:37 AM
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Quirkyalone
I'm so sorry you had to go through this..What a thing to carry. Just reading about it
the shock is intense. I can't imagine what it really was like for you, and still is.
I do admire your courage in writing about it, and hope the writing and sharing are
good for you..
posted by
frankk
on July 19, 2005 at 8:02 AM
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