Alien Insomniac on Life after WWIII

Friday, April 4, 2008

Proof that Men Have Better Friends...

Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 3:19 AM Comments (2) (permalink)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Are You Cuckoo?

Why women should avoid girls' nights out after they are married... The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls." I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!' Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easy. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 4:11 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

Monday, March 24, 2008

Valtrex question

If you found out during a first date that the person you're with has genital herpes would there be a second date? Is there any amount of "charming" or "hot" that can overcome that? I just have a hunch that these "and I don't" people found out after a few dates. It just seems like an "oh by the way"... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 12:56 AM Comments (3) (permalink)

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Priceless

Interest Rate: 22.9% Annual Fee: $25 Credit Limit: $2000 Monthly Payment $48 Cutting Up Their Fucking Card: Priceless Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 3:58 PM Comments (3) (permalink)

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

My take on the national neurosis

I'm bored, people. The whole of American social/political pop culture has become overwhelmingly tiresome. This is not the kind of boredom where I don't have anything to do or where I need something exciting. This is the kind of boredom that is a stoic's response to constant negative stimuli. Boredom... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 12:25 PM Comments (3) (permalink)

Monday, March 17, 2008

Take the red pill

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posted by AlienInsomniac at 6:30 AM Comments (2) (permalink)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Check your pockets

Well I thought I checked the pockets. Since this shirt doesn't have a pocket the pen may have been clipped through one of the button holes. I don't remember. It was several days ago. The pieces of the pen fell out onto the dryer door. I am pretty sure the ever potent and popular SHOUT will loosen it... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 11:49 AM Comments (1) (permalink)

Highest Stakes: The Mondale-ing of Obama

So Hillary wants Obama to concede and in return she will make him her running mate. There is a stench of desperation in that offer. This wouldn't place him in the position of Cheney. To whatever extent anyone considers Cheney to be a strong vice president, Obama wouldn't have his level of influence.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 4:08 AM Comments (3) (permalink)

Friday, March 7, 2008

Attention Lazy, Stupid Owners

It's not the dog's fault. It's yours. Everything you need to take care of your pet's waste is provided for you in the parks. It is because of your thoughtless, negligent indifference that there are elevated levels of contaminants in some of the creeks around here. This is not that difficult. You... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 7:57 PM Comments (1) (permalink)

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Don't Piss Off a Nurse

A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 8:22 PM Comments (2) (permalink)