Thursday, January 13, 2005
Never done anything wild in your life.....
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A teenager walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red,orange, blue, and yellow. The old man just stared. Every time the teenager looked, the old man was staring. The teenager finally said sarcastically,...
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Sunday, January 9, 2005
Shopping at Wal-Mart
One day, in line at the cafeteria, Bob says to Stanley behind him, "My Elbow hurts like everything. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Stan replies. "There's a diagnostic computer down at Walmart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell...
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Friday, January 7, 2005
Phew old flames made scents
Phew old Flames made scents Why is it that something always crawls in the wall and dies just before I host a gathering at my house? On cue, it happened again just before Christmas of 2000. We had just moved to our ranch in the country a few months before. In addition to opening windows and doors to...
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Thursday, January 6, 2005
First Date
This was on the "Tonight Show" with Jay Leno. Jay went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There absolutely is no question as to why her tale took the prize! She said it was midwinter... snowing and...
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Wednesday, January 5, 2005
Womans Prayer/Mens Prayer
Woman's Prayer: Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks. Says he'll call, and won't wait weeks. I pray that he is gainfully employed. when I spend his cash, he won't be...
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Wednesday, December 22, 2004
30 Lines to make you smile today
30 Lines to make you smile today. 1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences..... He thought he was God and I didn't. 2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it. 3.. I Work Hard Because Millions On Welfare Depend on Me! 4.. Some people are alive only because it's...
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Saturday, December 18, 2004
Sisters
An oldie from years ago. A cowgirl walked into a bar in Texas and ordered three mugs of ice cold Bud. She sat in the back of the room, carefully drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When she finished them, she came back to the bar and ordered three more. The bartender approached her and said,...
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Friday, December 17, 2004
You've Got Male
You've Got Male What an explanation! Cyrus says: "Daddy, how was I born?" Dad says: "Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We...
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Monday, December 6, 2004
Snapdragon of Life
The snapdragon of Life Thought I'd let you know that I am now in the Snapdragon part of my life... Part of me has lost its snap and the other part is draggin'.
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Tuesday, November 30, 2004
What Part of Your Body Goes to Heaven First????
The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?" Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied, "Because when you...
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