Jeff's Jots

Once when I was a kid, I told my mother I was going out to shoot baskets. She asked "What did the baskets do to you?" I think I inherited my smart-aleckness from my mother. Sign in to see full entry.

A friend showed me a picture of her father. Oh yes, I said. He looks just like you. I don't think so. I was adopted. Sign in to see full entry.

Everyone says exercise helps with depression so I'm trying. Here's brief diary of a recent attempt. 9am Arrive at gym and change into workout clothes 9:10am Get on rowing machine, do 75 calories, which took eight minutes and twenty five seconds. 9:20am Collapse on couch in lobby 10am Decide to row... Sign in to see full entry.

These are the three things in life that I'm most certain of 1. People are good 2. Pleasure is healthy 3. All women are beautiful Sign in to see full entry.

There are zillions of diet books but they all say the same thing: You can eat anything you want, as long as it doesn't taste good. Sign in to see full entry.

One day while I was getting ready to go to a wedding, I got a phone call from my dentist. He said I needed to have my wisdom teeth pulled. The woman that got married that day divorced that man, married someone else and had three children with her second husband. Those children are now teenagers. I... Sign in to see full entry.

I like my name but the only problem is that it's too common. It seems like every Tom, Dick or Harry I meet is named Jeff Sign in to see full entry.

My first job in high school was making popcorn in a movie theatre. I was fired after 6 weeks. They made a mistake. They couldn't get along without me. As soon as they fired me they went right out of business Twenty-Three years later. Sign in to see full entry.

When I joined my cousin's boy scout troop, a lot of the kids didn't know my name at first. They just knew I was Larry's cousin. Larry's last name was Balderson. One day one of the other scouts was trying to get Larry's attention. Balderson! BALDERSON! Giving up on Larry, he decided to get my... Sign in to see full entry.

I've never had a "one night stand" but I often wonder what people say to each other after it's over. The usual pleasantries we exchange when saying goodbye would have a whole different meaning after a one night stand. Thanks for coming It was nice having you Come again soon Sign in to see full entry.