The Ciel Show

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Friday, April 8, 2011

Today it's better...

More evidence for the brain-chemistry causes of depression: ups and downs, almost predictable: a few days descending, the day or two in the deepest place, then the bounce and return to light... so the cycle runs. The other day was a bad one. Very bad. There has been too much rain, too many emotional/psychological bits and pieces that get rolling as soon as I am conscious in the morning, and start the cascade downhill until I am somewhere under the avalanche, thinking letting go is better than... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 1:46 PM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

glum...

One of those days again. Struggling for enough light to get by. Sad, that meds might be the answer, the thing that makes it okay to be without a person in my life to give so much of a damn that they care how I'm feeling... No, it is not a good day. Does it matter that it is brain chemistry that gets me stuck on that one little truth: that makes it impossible, for a while, to tolerate, to get on past it with a philosophic, 'Oh well' and some chocolate? I know, I know: take the meds, everyone will... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 2:37 PM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Spring coming in...

Between the rains, we get patches of blue sky and the thermometer climbs ever so slowly... In a park in Centralia, Washington, the rhodies are winter-beaten, but gathering themselves to burst into a beautiful springtime. http://www.flickr.com/photos/therovingeye/sets/72157626423139378/ Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 6:26 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, March 31, 2011

So tired of being wet...

It is spring here, bright green leaves are spreading through the woods, and the first crocusses are fading already. I saw blooming daffodils the other day. Now, if only the rain would stop. Something to bear in mind when you start to fundamentally change major elements of your life: It is possible to change too many things at once, and suddenly, circuits start to blow, until all you want to do is sit still and wait for shards and ashes to stop falling from the sky. And the rain. Metaphors mix... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 11:07 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, March 14, 2011

New tech!

Lost cell phone... house elves? Why not, they have half my socks already. So... I went today to find the means to reconnect... thought a simple plan for a nice little nokia phone my daughter upgraded from a while ago, might do the trick. No contracts, please... Came home with... Dell Inspiron Mini laptop with ATT... yes, a contract... but autopay makes that ignorable unless actual changes are required. Two years isn't so long, not at my age: It will pass with alarming quickness. I will have... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 2:10 PM | add or view comments (10) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

International Women's Day

Today I am thinking about what it has meant to be female--child, girl, woman, wife and mother, grandmother--over the length of my life so far. Where did I learn what it means to be a woman? Where did my programming come from? What do I believe now? So many issues, so many opinions and beliefs...! What is in my head, what in my heart, what does my body make of its femaleness? How do I relate to other women? How should I, ideally? I have spent well over 50 years now, exploring these matters. The... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 2:26 PM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I've got the POWER!

Running an outdoor cord to the connection of the Tioga, the lights come on brighter, and I can sit and connect laptop to internet, and play my nice little Bose radio, and run the little space heater... This was suggested as an alternative to running the generator for heat. I turned it to high, the little heater, and of course, blew the circuit in the house. I went in, flipped the switch, went out again and the lights were dim. Hmmm... Decided to leave finding the Tioga circuit breakers for... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 2:55 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, February 24, 2011

and now, it snows...

Started fat and fluffy, good snowball stuff... fast but not lasting accumulation. Then night came on, and temps fell, the flakes got smaller, and came and came... In some areas to the north, over a foot of it. Here, only half a foot. But that is a lot for southern Puget Sound. I love the snow... the beauty of it makes up for much inconvenience. It even is a good enough reason to delay claiming my new little house-on-wheels. Perhaps I will use these next two days to write something, to play with... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 10:34 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Re-reversal of fortune!

So... patience, and getting a little clever with the bank, and hey presto! I get the little motorhome after all! The water heater next... though we have to relocate where the water to the house turns off, and it is under several years of undergrowth, since it was last used. Hoping the landlord (mobile home is owned, land is rental) know just where it is. Other matters... trusting them to be taking care of themselves. If they don't work out, then in fact, I didn't have what I fear to lose. It can... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 5:27 PM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Disappointment.

I thought it was all sorted. It isn't. The bank's preapproval as it turns out was based on not actually knowing what I was buying. I didn't realize this. I had supplied information, but it was not looked at. Once they got those details, the whole picture changed. It looks like all the stuff I've been gathering out of the house to make that Tioga home, has no place to go. Yet. It isn't the only deal that's fallen through lately or the only thing that seemed to be working as it should, that... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Ciel at 9:56 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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About this Blog

I'm doubtful the events of my life will be of great general interest, but I'd like to share a little more of me to the several of you on Blogit I've come to feel are real friends, and the many I imagine are potentially real friends. We'll see how it works out. ______________________ all my words and images posted on Blogit are copyright 2005-present, all rights reserved.

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