Go to Kabu Speaks
- Add a comment
- Go to Just want to warn my friends ...be careful what we write
Blogit is much safer than Facebook..
I can't agree more.. I always restrict my time and words in Facebook too.. I hope you get it resolved once things have cooled down a bit..
posted by
orcalion
on August 24, 2010 at 8:09 PM
| link to this | reply
Dear Kabu
How upsetting. I can't imagine what the person thought you wrote. You are so dear and sweet, I can't imagine anyone distorting your words.
posted by
skye08
on August 21, 2010 at 7:02 PM
| link to this | reply
So true...
I have never have had that happen on the internet. But... many years ago (2 different times) I had written to 2 different friends and they took my letters wrong. I wish I'd have had a copy of the letters, because their reactions showed they were very offended or? A mutual friend told me that this girl took my letter and ripped it up. The second girl was having some problems (I thought) and so I wrote a letter to her, to try to encourage her. Years later I called her and she said I should be glad that she would even talk to me after the letter I had written her. She got the letter at the time her dad had died. I felt so bad, but I couldn't even remember what I had written.
posted by
mariposa75
on August 21, 2010 at 3:11 PM
| link to this | reply
Hi Kabu
stopped in to read your blogs...this is pretty upsetting I bet...especially since (I think) that we come here to find comfort and share our thoughts with one another (wrong, right, or indifferent) no one has to agree with one another...just listen
Hope they come to their senses soon
posted by
cosy
on August 20, 2010 at 11:04 PM
| link to this | reply
What happened Grandmummy? I am so sorry. Never forget I love you and Poppy with all my heart.
posted by
lovelyladymonk
on August 20, 2010 at 8:31 PM
| link to this | reply
The support here outweighs everything....Thank you, all of you and your
great advice. I am listening to what you say and yes, I feel so sad that this person appears ill, but it is time to block their mail. Again thank you all of you.
posted by
Kabu
on August 20, 2010 at 7:19 PM
| link to this | reply
Sweet Kabu,
Sorry this is happening to you. I am going through a bad time with a close friend of mine, too. If this person is a dear friend, can you maybe call her and talk instead of the emailing? Maybe that will clear things up.
posted by
SpitFire70
on August 20, 2010 at 4:59 PM
| link to this | reply
Kabu, you are wise to stay away from Facebook...
I've had a couple of close calls on Blogit, but nothing serious..
...
posted by
Rumor
on August 20, 2010 at 1:16 PM
| link to this | reply
I used to frequent messageboards. Not a day went by when someone was not misinterpreting what someone had posted. Once in awhile I do see that on here. I myself do not worry about it here though because most are rational enough to talk it through.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on August 20, 2010 at 1:01 PM
| link to this | reply
And even when you want someone to take it straight on, in comes the
BL LOL
posted by
Ariala
on August 20, 2010 at 12:12 PM
| link to this | reply
Kabu
I guess I am fortunate never having been in that position - but I can understand how distressing it would be. I know how
I would deal with it - I would just tell that person to f*** off, but I also realize that for many people that may not be an option, not being in the habit of using four-letter words...LOL. Of course, there are more acceptable ones, for example 'get lost' - 'lost' is a fine four-letter word, if employed judiciously...
posted by
Nautikos
on August 20, 2010 at 10:47 AM
| link to this | reply
Feuds are so terrible to deal with. I stay away from facebook for the same reason of too much exposure. This is a good concept of showing caution, but maybe you should block the person if they get too crazy towards you and not accept abusive behavior forever. I still believe in freedom of expresssion if it is not carried too far.
posted by
mariss9
on August 20, 2010 at 10:39 AM
| link to this | reply
I had a long-running feud with my sister-in-law through email. The problem with communicating this way is that the nuance of body language is lost, and what I said in jest (and would have been known to be in jest had we been talking face to face and she could see my kookie expression) was taken as a serious comment. I couldn't undo it and it just escalated from there until I had no idea what we were fighting about. I agree with Taps. Let it rest for awhile then when you do pick up, switch the topic. Sorry you're so frustrated by this Kabu, but don't take it too seriously.....Mal
posted by
gapcohen
on August 20, 2010 at 7:55 AM
| link to this | reply
Yes Sweetie remember everything I say to you is not meant to harm or hurt you in any way.
I have had the same prob. I told someone they looked sad in a photo only meaning to be sympathetic and hoping they would feel better and they never replied again.
The onset of Dementia can produce strange ideas thinking friends are enemies or are hurtful I have seen it many times. Sorry for you Kabu it's not your fault, it makes me feel sad.
posted by
C_C_T
on August 20, 2010 at 7:51 AM
| link to this | reply
that is why I told my son to meet his gf face to face as things we say on the net can get twisted, sorry this has happened to you
posted by
Lanetay
on August 20, 2010 at 7:30 AM
| link to this | reply
Ugghhhh. That is the downside of communicating by writing. Sometimes it happens even in face to face conversation, but it seems not nearly so prone to happen. I would suggest that you give it a little time and space without answering those communications at all, and when you finally do that you write entirely about something else without mentioning these odious communications. Perhaps that friend is going through a bad time and she has need of taking it out on someone else.
posted by
TAPS.
on August 20, 2010 at 7:10 AM
| link to this | reply
It is easier to misunderstand the tone of something written than said
and I suspect that is what she has done, a;though perhaps it is just a vent for something deeper.. after all it would be more normal for a dear friend to discuss it rationally. I hope you get it resolved.
posted by
lionreign
on August 20, 2010 at 5:58 AM
| link to this | reply
Based on what a friend you've been to me, Kabu, and your
relationships here on Blogit, I don't believe you would intentionally say (or even think) anything that would hurt someone's feelings. You never know what might be going on in her life, things you or I might dismiss without a second thought, that have her walking the razor's edge. I hope she thinks it over and remembers who you really are. If you don't want to block her, I'd delete everything she emails -- maybe there's a mutual friend who can talk to her, find out what's up.
posted by
Pat_B
on August 20, 2010 at 4:23 AM
| link to this | reply
It may have nothing actually to do with what you said, but what he read.
A few years ago, someone I'd exchanged some email with had a psychotic break and took a delayed response for something more dire, and flipped out at me. I was glad to have an international border between us. The person in question caused enough havoc--I was not the only one in his sites--to have his computer taken away from him officially.
First, I stopped corresponding with him on any level. In this case, he was trying to bully me into a response. No way I was going to reward that.
Second, I notified my email provider and his of the abusive and threatening messages.
If there had been a third, it would been to alert the police that something was going on, that he was a danger to himself and others. It didn't come to that, at least not from me.
Even so... I have never blamed him for being sick. People who are well don't freak out in such a way. But we should not ignore it, and thus enable it.
Rest easy... such madness does not go unnoticed by those around such a person.
posted by
Ciel
on August 20, 2010 at 12:38 AM
| link to this | reply
Ignore..
Not to sound heartless, but I would block them if I were you. This kind of thing feeds on itself and if they are ill, someone around them will soon notice too and prayerfully take appropriate action.
So sorry you are experiencing this, Dear Kabu. It is painful.
Your grace speaks beautifully of your soul.
posted by
Katray2
on August 19, 2010 at 9:57 PM
| link to this | reply
...be careful what we write
Yes, that happened to me a few years back, I answered one of my neice's e-mails..I have no idea what I wrote that upset her she lives across the states from me. But she refuses to even respond to any of my e-mails with a reason why. So I make sure what I write is read and re-read before it is sent./LBJ
posted by
MsJudy
on August 19, 2010 at 9:51 PM
| link to this | reply
point taken my dear fren.......words can be a tool and also a weapon
posted by
icedlatte
on August 19, 2010 at 9:26 PM
| link to this | reply
Kabu
Unfortunately, I too have experienced an email taken out of context or a post being read and the meaning twisted. As for how I've handled it, I try not to get burned again by watching who I include and what I write. However, I really appreciate your approach ... seeking to understand why the message was misinterpreted and extending grace. Not always easy, but most definitely the so-called "higher" road.
posted by
janey_
on August 19, 2010 at 9:00 PM
| link to this | reply
Kabuiepie-;)
I am sorry that is happening to you love but all I can do is be here for you as you've been for me in my altercation with a troubled person. I love you.
posted by
WileyJohn
on August 19, 2010 at 8:45 PM
| link to this | reply
Kabu
That "send" button can sometimes comes back to bite us in the ass - our words or sentiments completely misinterpreted. I'm so sorry this happened to you......
posted by
Troosha
on August 19, 2010 at 8:45 PM
| link to this | reply