Tuesday, September 22, 2009
The Wanderer Checks In
Just for a moment.. my wanderings have been through the mental wilderness my life has turned into since becoming involved with HB here. He can't have any idea of -- or may not actually care about -- the havoc that he, and my ex-husband's dishonest, hopelessly irrational and thoroughly unacceptable...
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Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Quietly screaming
The herons have four eggs now... I feel very proud, somehow... dragged a couple of colleagues in to show them, while the hen was standing up and primping her nest. Yesterday in the early evening, CG rang to tell me he has become a grandfather again... nice news. I was happy for him, told him I'd...
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Thursday, July 9, 2009
Whales and rainbows
My two-day trip was very nice; congenial company, a stop or two to admire the coastal scenery, a rain shower or two -- some quite prolonged -- and at least four rainbows on the first day. I do like rainbows. I took some photos of the rocky shores when we stopped at Seal Point, and when we walked up...
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Saturday, July 4, 2009
Now what do I do?
A dilemma. CG (construction guy) has called and wondered if I would like to accompany him on a trip he has to make next week. He needs to pick up a digger of some kind... so romantic (smiles)... but setting that aside, although it is nice to be asked, what happens next? I asked how long he would be...
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Monday, June 29, 2009
Weaving and Unweaving
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeDzETYtS7s&feature=related Loreena McKennit: Penelope's Song. Question: "Am I of this world or the other?" Answer: "I am of both." Clarrisa Pinkola Estes Estes is speaking of the worlds of consciousness and unconsciousness; I happen to find this question -- and the...
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Sunday, June 28, 2009
Induced panic.
"Basically I'm in a state of induced panic." Kevin Rudd (Primer Minister), speaking about his fear of an encounter with Bruno on the Rove McManus TV program last night. "Perhaps it is lucky for Mr Rudd that they did not share the stage because Bruno's appraisal was straight to the point: " Your...
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Ways
Life has calmed again, by what miracle I don't quite know. God; faith; prayer... Give it time; I'm sure I will have other meltdowns, other bad days. What matters right this minute is what's important; to love someone by giving them what they need, no matter how much it hurts. Today, I've reached out...
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Slowly
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=soO0CMnU9Bo Letting go takes time... you were my life for so long... I held on to the future with you, and it got me through. I cannot, still cannot, may not ever understand how or why this happened, why you changed. It is monumental, it is huge for me, not least...
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Thursday, June 25, 2009
And
I am having so much trouble concentrating today. It's really just the futility of it all. I'm a slow learner. I feel so stupid, so unsure of myself now. I spent years trying to assimilate myself to this place. When I started at university I became, unexpectedly, much more settled. Time went by; I...
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Oh Oh
Whoops. All self-control went out of the window. I didn't create, attack, accuse... just lost it, in a very quiet, dignified and ladylike manner, when he asked me what I wanted to do (workwise). I said I don't have any idea. I can see that he is quite content to meet with me and talk shop, but that...
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