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Re: Mneme
Hi Naut - no, I wouldn't have had any idea of the route.. I don't drive in Sydney enough, hadn't a clue where I was.. it was just where the bus dropped me, near the rental place.  I take your point, with the coldness; certainly for my ex-husband the wound is still fresh, though he has had six years to get used to us not being married any more.  I can't say, with the other one.. he broke my heart.  It was nice of CG to tell me this man was 'a goanna' who didn't know what he was missing, but the fact is, he does know, and he chose not to be with me. Maybe he's exhibiting a need to know if I still care, by responding as fast as he does. It's not good for me, now, to have anything to do with him at all.   I was just thrown by the coincidence and wanted him to be thrown by it too.  Silly really. 

Meanwhile someone else misses me and is waiting for me to come home. He makes me happy, and wants me in his life.  It's a no-brainer, really.

posted by mneme on January 13, 2010 at 6:46 PM | link to this | reply


What a story! And it all began so innocently - but I do suspect that somewhere, in the deepest recesses of your heart, you knew that, if anywhere in that metropolis, that was the area where you might catch a glimpse of him...which doesn't mean it wasn't a surprise when it happened...

As to this man's coldness (or these men's coldness), not knowing either I can certainly not comment. But in other cases, more generally, and to play the part of the devil's advocate, I would suggest that, in some cases at least, the coldness is the scar of a wound that must not be touched, because it is still painful...

posted by Nautikos on January 11, 2010 at 7:38 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Re: Some things, and some people are hard habits to break.
I stand corrected in my assumptions... 

posted by Ciel on January 11, 2010 at 7:37 PM | link to this | reply

Re: mneme
Come to think of it, I had the same cold shoulder from my ex-husband, over many years.  He wants to focus on my meeting someone new as the demise of our marriage, when in fact I just found someone to warm to.

posted by mneme on January 11, 2010 at 3:54 PM | link to this | reply

Re: mneme
Troosha, you are so right about the coldness.. it has really hurt me, the way he turned away so easily.  It makes you wonder, as you say, whether you ever meant anything, and even that everything they said to you was a lie.

posted by mneme on January 11, 2010 at 3:53 PM | link to this | reply

Thanks Taps.. but I was very suprised.. it seemed like the one thing I wouldn't welcome, happened.. just like the time I got in the lift and hoped he wouldn't get in on another floor.. and he did.  The universe wants me to know something, and one day I will. I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. He had his chance didn't he.

posted by mneme on January 11, 2010 at 3:51 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Some things, and some people are hard habits to break.
I didn't know his route, that's the one thing that's so odd. And his visits tend to depend on the relative's work shifts, so it was quite uncanny that it should be just when it was. 

posted by mneme on January 11, 2010 at 3:31 PM | link to this | reply

Very interestingly written.  Good to read you again and to have you stop by my blogs.  I'm not surprised that you saw him drive by you.  It seems that sort of thing is not uncommon.

posted by TAPS. on January 11, 2010 at 8:28 AM | link to this | reply

Some things, and some people are hard habits to break.

Sometimes cold turkey, sometimes cold shoulder...

You knew his routine, his route... some part of you put you in his path... and just so, you texted him.  You gave him another chance.  You hungered for a moment of significance with him.  Not to resume, but to know you ever mattered, and matter still at least a little.  As it turns out--enough for that small response, possibly a habit but one not resisted.  I'm glad you have someone who cares more, who misses you more, to return to.

That's how I read it.

Love, I have heard, ends only in indifference.

posted by Ciel on January 11, 2010 at 8:16 AM | link to this | reply

The coincidence is most definitely a little strange - even haunting.  And those events which prompt us to turn our minds backwards - to what was - can be bittersweet.  From my experience men prefer to keep contact "chilly"
9after a break-up) so as to not create any ambiguity.  They think if they say something kind or warm they we will misconstrue it as them wanting to resume the relationship.  What they fail to realize, however, is that their aloofness or almost cold reaction to us makes us think we met nothing to them or that we're disposable.  Men.....

posted by Troosha on January 11, 2010 at 6:10 AM | link to this | reply

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