A letter to Santa Dear Santa Next year, could you please take all the wrapping paper and bows with you? What a mess, and while you’re at it, why not take the damn tree too? You could just whoosh it up the chimney, getting rid of it and cleaning the chimney all in one reverse fell swoop. Don’t forget to vacuum the dead needles off the floor, put all the ornaments back in their boxes and wrap up the light strings too! That could be your gift to me, and I would certainly appreciate it way more than... Sign in to see full entry.