Aunty Holly

I admit, I was not born to the lap of luxury – I earned it. Yes! Aunty Holly has a P.A.S.T. (Purrfectly Acceptable Story to Tell)! Unfortunately; however, a visitor from my P.A.S.T. dropped by last night, causing a frightful ruckus! Old 'acquaintance' Feral Feline Boozer, has been marauding for several days. Menacing, Male, Big, Brutish Boozer - t oo many hormones - brains of a Canine. For seemingly hours last evening he caterwauled, 'Holly, Holly, you remember me? Boozer Baby! Come on out!... Sign in to see full entry.

Yesterday my staff arranged an important 'Birthday Celebration'. One of my elderly members turned 17 and a quarter Feline years! What a strange age to celebrate? I can only imagine the date has some ceremonial importance in human years, or more to the point, I suspect they have all become vaguely senile! Of course there was the usual culinary debacle. Sardines strewn through olives, fresh greens ruined in an oily glug, vegetables wrecked by boiling water and the 'piece de resistance' - chicken... Sign in to see full entry.

I have always maintained that art is in the eyes of the beholder. That being the case; however, I suspect that my staff must be going blind! Yesterday they proudly dusted off an old print, that had lain at the back of the wardrobe (where it belonged) for years. With great ceremony they unfurled it onto the dining room table. At first I thought that the picture was pleasant enough. A wash of grey blue evening skies, bathed amongst the branches of old gum trees – a charming nineteenth century... Sign in to see full entry.

Yesterday we had an unfortunate visitation from a youngish female human, conducting a random survey. Although initially pleasant enough, she became truly unwelcome. My staff, I thought, had her under control, refusing to participate in her business. What good are these questionnaires at any rate? Do they ask about my intended rat consumption for the month? No! Is there any enquiry as to my preferred method of flee control? Of course not! They are simply for human indulgence. A good dose of... Sign in to see full entry.

Unbelievable! Are my Staff totally incapable of recalling their training in Feline Dining E tiquette? How many hundreds of times must I repeat my requests to them, to position me correctly at their dining table? Will they never remember my rightful place? A Feline's place is not on the Staff seats, not on Staff cushions, and certainly never on the Floor. The place of any well bred Feline at feeding time, is above the Staffs' seating, ON the Table! That means, All four paws, On the table, At the... Sign in to see full entry.