Funeral Fun

By archiew - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, October 15, 2005

A Magical Funeral

For your next funeral, if you have to plan one, consider hiring an illusionist. Imagine, at the end, having the body of the deceased covered with a cape, having the cape whisked away, and the body is gone! That would be the grand finale of, not only the funeral, but of the person's life. That would... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 6:42 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, October 8, 2005

The Will Game . . . . .

Turn your funeral into a game show, complete with studio audience and cameras and guest stars. The bigger your estate, the more successful this will be, particularly in attracting quality guest stars. First, your will must stipulate that the winners of certain contests at your funeral will be... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 11:59 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, September 5, 2005

Become Alive Again!

Instead of dying and getting cremated or buried in a hole in a septic cemetary, how about having your body processed to be fertilizer, to be spread on your survivor's lawn or garden, to produce continuing beauty or delicious fruit as a remembrance? For this process to be performed, you could not be... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 10:02 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, August 19, 2005

Funeral for the Traveler

Some of us like to travel and would like to remember and be remembered wherever we have been. How about a multi-location funeral, with bits and pieces of your body buried in the various places you have been and even in a few places you just wish you had had the chance to visit, but didn't? There... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 6:14 AM | add or view comments (4) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, August 8, 2005

A Smoker's Funeral . . .

This funeral is for deceased smokers only. It is an open casket service attended by all the deceased's friends and family, with special recognition of the smokers. At some appropriate time at the service, all the smokers will extinguish their smokes and place them into the casket, cigarettes, cigars... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 4:57 AM | add or view comments (8) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, August 6, 2005

Smiley Face Funeral

Cheer up any funeral with the stick-on smiley faces. They should be on the casket, for sure, but also the mourners should wear smiley face buttons, stickers, hats and t-shirts. To do so, to inundate the funeral with smiley faces, serves two main purposes. First, it allows the mourners to show their... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 7:59 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, July 23, 2005

Add to my will . . . .

That my body be disposed of with a favorite book or two, just in case there is a waiting room to the afterlife. And, if the afterlife is eternal, as is surmised by many, then the waiting period could be very, very long. Perhaps that book should be War & Peace, or something equally long, something by... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 4:40 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Funeral of the Future . . .

We are not quite there yet, but soon, soon. We have the technology to do this, but still cannot use it viably at a cost we "ordinaries" can afford. I write of changing a corpse into its chemical and elemental components, then recombining those components into something, a physical remembrance. The... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 4:21 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, July 14, 2005

We've all heard the term "Funeral March"

Well, what if, with today's micro technology, nano-technolgy, electronics and material sciences, and numeric control devices, we could make a corpse actually "March"? With some sort of electromechanical support, and electronic controls, we could have a parade with the coprse as the main performer.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 11:07 AM | add or view comments (7) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

This has come up in various articles . . .

But Space Burial sounds like a very good idea to me. First, we have to bring down the cost of a payload substantially, or those of us who are not wealthy could not afford to do it. Once we get cargo ships going into orbit, however, it could be a lucrative business for someone to take bodies up and... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 9:57 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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