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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

The Master Plan

Today is Tuesday. The days roll on. The world cares not that Dad died over a month ago, as did Butch. And little Austin not even a week ago. Life just continues to move forward and it is the most baffling thing. I can contemplate it to no end …and yet it gets me nowhere. Is it God who holds all in His hands? Is it a universal power? Is it our higher selves? Or ( and this is the most empty of thoughts ) is it no one? Nothing? I ache to know the answer as man has ached for centuries. I ache for... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Meal Planning ..,, My Newest Endeavor

I'm trying to take a step back to see where I can tweak things for the better in my life. Working night shift makes me want to sleep all day.....longer then a normal 7 hours. So I feel like I miss out on a lot and if I'd just get more organized, I might be able to get a handle on things. I've started with meal planning. I'm so tired of just winging it when it comes to meals. My daughter will cook a couple times a week, and we always have fresh fruit and vegetables around, but I feel like we need... Sign in to see full entry.

Regular but not...

It was a regular day for me yesterday. Napped in order to get into work by 10 p.m., messaged some with my daugher and her husband, who are in Alaska for the summer. Spent a bit of time with my dog. The usual. For some, it wasn't a regular day though. My nephew's best friend died at 8 a.m. in the morning. He had leukemia and got an infection this past Wednesday. The leukemia was under control but with his system compromised, there's always that chance of infection. It is so heartbreaking. 2 weeks... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Picture Problems

I have so many pictures all over the place. Boxes here and bins there. Some scrapbooks completed and some partially done. I'm trying to find a way to organize them. But it gets overwhelming so I end up throwing everything back in the closets. Sigh. What does everyone else do? Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Happy Birthday, Dad!

So every year on Dad's birthday, I post the top picture of me and Dad even though his face can't be seen. Cause I just love the picture. But I always knew there was another one somewhere. After he died, I found it in an envelope in his drawer! What a gift! Happy, happy Birthday, Dad! ❤ Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 19, 2017

Welcome Baby

My nephew, in the midst of a volatile home life situation, moved across country to live with us back in 2009. Some of you may remember that. It was hard at first …but after we all adjusted, it became obvious that it was part of a much bigger plan for his healing and his life. He worked as a flight attendant for a couple of years, took some college courses, got a job as a barista at Starbucks and is now a store manager. Last year he married the daughter of some good friends of ours …and today he... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Meatballs, Birthdays and Ashes

My daughter, Sarah, made Curry Meatballs tonight for me to bring in to work for my midnight dinner. I slept all day in order to be able to make it through one last night shift before I have 4 (yes, 4!) nights off. Today was Father's Day, Tuesday is Dad's birthday. My own birthday is June 29. And my nephew is expecting his first baby somewhere in here. Things seem a bit of a hodge podge this summer as I try to regain some footing. My sister and I have been messaging, trying to mend things. It's... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 17, 2017


After 3 month of being off to care for Dad, I am back to work. I've had 9 out of 10 nights on (quite the welcome back...ugh). I work nights and sleep days and its hard enough when I do my 4 nights a week but this schedule has me crazy. Next week it goes back to I'm very much looking forward to that! My kids and husband are troopers with it all, keeping things going at home. I think it's the dog who is suffering most right now. He's my baby and he misses me. I am looking forward to... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 16, 2017

A Hard Thing (or two)

Its a hard thing helping a parent die. But having an addict sibling adds so much to an already surreal and devastatingly hard situtation. Left alone to finish Dad's last week with him on my own was a slam in the gut and a complete betrayal. Do I understand that she's an addict and so she thinks differently than I do about things? Yes. Do I realize that once she heads down that dark path, its extremely hard and probably seemingly impossible for her to turn herself around? Sure, I do. But do I... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 12, 2017

So Glad to be Back

I am very glad to be back. An itch to start writing again motivated me to, on the spur of the moment, reactivate my blogit account. I think the itch to write came from just spending the past 3 months helping my father die. The emotion of it all demanded an outlet and I satisfied that with the writing of his eulogy. However, something inside me just won't settle down. My daughter said "just do it" when I pulled up the blog it site and started reading my old writings....years old now! I think of... Sign in to see full entry.

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