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Friday, July 31, 2015

William's Adventure.

THe GNC clerk was a fool. He had a clown wig on and a goofy grin on his face. He asked William if he needed any assistance, then said, "Emphasis on ass", with a giggle. William turned and walked over to him. He snatched the clown wig off the fools head and said to him, 'Your mother must be ashamed... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

Classic Rock

Lorenzo knew the only way to escape justice from Jimmy the Frog was to barter his favorite Who album. Desperate, sputtering incoherant inconsistancies from his piehole, Lorenzo finally convinced the Frog to spare his life with exchange for Quadrophrenia. Weeping with relief, he suddenly found his... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Something to fall back on

There are 2 things in life Winnifred loved: One was a good spanking, the other was a toasted bagle. One fine Tuesday morn Winnifred was meandering down to the corner where the local bagel shop stood erected. As she entered the store she slipped and fell on a grease puddle that the Arab store owner... Sign in to see full entry.

Highways and byways

Herman was driving to the store to return a very expensive video game. He was disgruntled about the graphics. As he pulled into the parking lot, he noticed that the store was closed down. This is ridiculous, he thought, I was just here two days ago. He sat there for a moment quite stunned with... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 25, 2015

A Heinous Scheme

As Roberto wandered vaguely through the dog food aisle hunting for dog food, an idea occurred to him. It surprised him, because ideas rarely came to his slow and sluggish mind. He blew his mind out in a car. The idea had to do with selling all that he had and buy a small corn field. Perhaps create a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 24, 2015

Fat in the fire

As Francis lumbered down the aisle in the beef jerky factory, he accidentally slipped in a puddle of grease. Unfortunately, he tumbled over the railing into the huge industrial cooker. The stench of burning lard took months to dissipate, workers claimed. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 23, 2015

And Shamoo rose

Mildred was bubbling with excitement at the prospect of seeing Shamoo live and in person. She and her grandchildren pressed against the crowd to get a little closer, perhaps snap a quick pic of the killer whale with her phone. Mildred caught a break. Some huge obese man fainted from sunstroke ahead... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The Lawyer

He clodded down the cobbled street with his shoelaces untied, quite drunk. Eventually he happened upon a bench, and collapsed in a steamy heap. The lawyer, swarthy with unfullfilled desire, produced a flask from his overcoat and took a slug of city gin. The fiery liquid hit his brain like a bullet... Sign in to see full entry.

Fecal Matters

Bernie Lomax was a cautious man. When he walked his dog, has always made sure the mutt was not in the street. He also allowed the dog to defecate in peoples yard as they passed by. He did not pooper scoop the poo but left it there in great piles. This, he thought, was a service he was doing his... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 21, 2015

From Here to Eternity

Kardashean stared stupidly at the merry go round. He knew it was hypnotizing him. The new drug his dr had him on made him even more retarded than he already was. He was thinking of candy. Memories of being at the carnival as a child crept into his cerebrum. Suddenly an old lady walked up to him and... Sign in to see full entry.

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