InsanelyStupidShortStories.edu - Blogithttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/Random favors of chocolate to amuse youhourly12000-01-01T12:00+00:00William's Adventure.http://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/883849THe GNC clerk was a fool. He had a clown wig on and a goofy grin on his face. He asked William if he needed any assistance, then said, "Emphasis on ass", with a giggle. William turned and walked over to him. He snatched the clown wig off the fools head and said to him, 'Your mother must be...Classic Rockhttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/883686Lorenzo knew the only way to escape justice from Jimmy the Frog was to barter his favorite Who album. Desperate, sputtering incoherant inconsistancies from his piehole, Lorenzo finally convinced the Frog to spare his life with exchange for Quadrophrenia. Weeping with relief, he suddenly found his...Something to fall back onhttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/883621There are 2 things in life Winnifred loved: One was a good spanking, the other was a toasted bagle. One fine Tuesday morn Winnifred was meandering down to the corner where the local bagel shop stood erected. As she entered the store she slipped and fell on a grease puddle that the Arab store...Highways and bywayshttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/883618Herman was driving to the store to return a very expensive video game. He was disgruntled about the graphics. As he pulled into the parking lot, he noticed that the store was closed down. This is ridiculous, he thought, I was just here two days ago. He sat there for a moment quite stunned with...A Heinous Schemehttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/882589As Roberto wandered vaguely through the dog food aisle hunting for dog food, an idea occurred to him. It surprised him, because ideas rarely came to his slow and sluggish mind. He blew his mind out in a car. The idea had to do with selling all that he had and buy a small corn field. Perhaps create...Fat in the firehttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/882541As Francis lumbered down the aisle in the beef jerky factory, he accidentally slipped in a puddle of grease. Unfortunately, he tumbled over the railing into the huge industrial cooker. The stench of burning lard took months to dissipate, workers claimed.And Shamoo rosehttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/882485Mildred was bubbling with excitement at the prospect of seeing Shamoo live and in person. She and her grandchildren pressed against the crowd to get a little closer, perhaps snap a quick pic of the killer whale with her phone. Mildred caught a break. Some huge obese man fainted from sunstroke...The Lawyerhttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/882434He clodded down the cobbled street with his shoelaces untied, quite drunk. Eventually he happened upon a bench, and collapsed in a steamy heap. The lawyer, swarthy with unfullfilled desire, produced a flask from his overcoat and took a slug of city gin. The fiery liquid hit his brain like a...Fecal Mattershttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/882431Bernie Lomax was a cautious man. When he walked his dog, has always made sure the mutt was not in the street. He also allowed the dog to defecate in peoples yard as they passed by. He did not pooper scoop the poo but left it there in great piles. This, he thought, was a service he was doing his...From Here to Eternityhttp://www.blogit.com/Blogs/Blog.aspx/KOTxxIMPOSSIBLE/882380Kardashean stared stupidly at the merry go round. He knew it was hypnotizing him. The new drug his dr had him on made him even more retarded than he already was. He was thinking of candy. Memories of being at the carnival as a child crept into his cerebrum. Suddenly an old lady walked up to him...