Bad Jokes And Sage Advice From The E-Mail Archives

By Dark_Heart - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, October 5, 2007

Written By Kids...

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHOM TO MARRY? (Written by kids) You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 8:19 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

A Woman's Week At The Gym

A WOMAN'S WEEK AT THE GYM If you read this without laughing out loud, there is something wrong with you. This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary, For my birthday this year, my daughter (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 10:17 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Budweiser Story

The Budweiser Story I don't know if this is true or not, but it sure would be nice if it were. How Budweiser handled those who laughed at those who died on the 11th of September, 2001... Thought you might like to know what happened in a little town north of Bakersfield, California. After you finish... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 10:07 AM | add or view comments (5) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Why God Made Mom's

WHY GOD MADE MOMS Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions: Why did God make mothers? 1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is. 2. Mostly to clean the house. 3. To help us out of there when we were getting born. How did God make mothers? 1. He used dirt,... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:59 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, October 1, 2007

The Naked Cowboy

The Naked Cowboy The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the Street and sees a blond cowboy coming down the Walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun, and His boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the World are you dressed like this?" The Cowboy... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:26 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Two Studies...

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles per year. Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year. That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud to be American. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 6:37 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Memory Issues

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 6:36 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

3 Good Arguments

There were 3 good arguments that Jesus was Black: 1. He called everyone brother 2. He liked Gospel 3. He didn't get a fair trial But then there were 3 equally good arguments that Jesus was Jewish: 1. He went into His Father's business 2. He lived at home until he was 33 3. He was sure his Mother was... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 6:36 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, September 28, 2007

A New Element Discovered

T he recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Governmentium. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 10:20 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, September 27, 2007

No Parent Left Behind

I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud. These are REAL notes written by PARENTS in a Tennessee school district. (Spellings have been left intact.) 1-- MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM. 2-- PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:18 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I have a huge family and get a lot of e-mail jokes. Some of them are too good to delete without sharing them first. And although I can't take the credit for authoring the silly things, they sure made me smile anyway.

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