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Everyone's got stuff hoarded in the subconscious, some useful, some limiting and destructive to the conscious enjoyment of life. I've written about the Parts model of the mind, have studied it some, and find it is therapeutic just understanding that this is how minds work! I've always been impressed that you committed to digging down and revealing that quietly traumatic moment, and freeing yourself from it.

posted by Ciel on August 16, 2022 at 10:23 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Re: Re: IMHO, you sussed it out well.

Cheers Sherri, I won't tell you about the hole in our living van.

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 10:55 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Re: Re: Taps

We all were little once Taps. I remember my brother crawling with a mouse in his mouth copying Tinker the cat.

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 10:53 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Re: IMHO, you sussed it out well.

posted by Sherri_G on August 15, 2022 at 10:18 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Re: Taps

Awww...Poor little C.C.T.

posted by TAPS. on August 15, 2022 at 8:55 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Pat

It made me very reluctant to share meals when I was young. I would become

confused and embarrassed, over the years I kind of conquered it but I was

determined to find the cause. I remembered saying to another boy when I was about

ten years old. 'I think my Mother is trying to poison me.' It seemed to come from 

deep in my mind. I think in my next life I'll be a psychiatrist.

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 8:13 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Good Morning Goldiec

I expect there are a lot of disturbed people just through traumatic or disturbing incidents in early childhood. I think maybe one of the reasons why it is so difficult to find deep in the brain is because the thought process that is there is still childlike .

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 7:58 AM | link to this | reply

Re: FS

Yes one wonders how many are afflicted and wonder why there is a pain in the mind that has no reason.

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 7:53 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Kabu

Yes, Kabu one tends to bury it too deep and it is a real torment .

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 7:51 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Good afternoon Sherri

Sherri I was lucky to be able to go back to that time and suss it out. 

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 7:50 AM | link to this | reply

Re: Taps

My mother told me years later that she did have woman to look after me when the second child was born as I was two. She found her thrashing my legs one day and got rid of her.

 

posted by C_C_T on August 15, 2022 at 7:48 AM | link to this | reply

Why on earth would an adult say something like that to a little child?  That is so bad.  

posted by TAPS. on August 14, 2022 at 3:50 PM | link to this | reply

Good afternoon

That wouldn't have sat well with me either. Adults sometimes don't realize how much their words make an impression on a young mind that is listening to their conversation.

posted by Sherri_G on August 14, 2022 at 11:03 AM | link to this | reply

how silly adults can be and how cruel some boys are to little girls. I surpressed a memory for most of my life and even when it returned I needed help to realize my cousin and I were innocent 10 year olds.

posted by Kabu on August 14, 2022 at 10:51 AM | link to this | reply

Those memories are burned into our minds...You take us on an emotional roller coaster.

posted by FormerStudentIntern on August 14, 2022 at 6:30 AM | link to this | reply

Good Morning

Oh my!  I'm not sure what people are thinking when they blurt things out around children.  I'm glad you were able to fix this in your own mind.  I know there are very picky eaters in the world and maybe this is one of the reasons why.  

posted by Goldiec on August 14, 2022 at 6:26 AM | link to this | reply

Holy crap! It's a wonder you're nothing but skin and bones, with a

deeply ingrained fear like this that seeps into your very marrow.  Sometimes people say the stupidest, most hurtful things they should have kept locked in the wastebins of their minds. No doubt I've done it myself. If so, I'm sorry. That spiteful old granny never intended to poison your food, but she sure did a number on your imagination.  Ticks me off to think of it! 

posted by Pat_B on August 14, 2022 at 6:23 AM | link to this | reply