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Re: For TAPS

I couldn't sleep tonight so at 0200 here I am on the computer and just saw your note that you wrote early this morning. Think you so much. I appreciate everything you said here. I would like very much to read "Caretaker" when it is finished. I much prefer reading a book. For some reason audio books put me to sleep after a short bit. Thank you so much for caring.

posted by TAPS. on March 16, 2020 at 12:06 AM | link to this | reply

For TAPS

I saw this post late last night, and it ate at me all night. I had just shut my computer down, and I wanted to respond. My eye sight has gotten so that I can't type on my cell, so I waited.

I'm sorry to hear this. Sometimes one gets so caught up in their own battles, they become oblivious to the battles of those around them. I did not know about this situation. I apologize.

When my two nieces became aurse's aides and then nurses, The one thing I advised them at their graduation was to do exactly as you have written - care from the heart. I told them that it's painful some nights, and there would be times they would become so involved that they would cry about a patient and the things they went through and the things that happened to them. 'It will make you a better nurse.' Every time I see them, they will tell me, 'I had this one patient, and they had this situation....' and that story would always end with '... and I hurt for them, and I cried all the way home.' That's the sign of a good nurse.

As to the situation with your son, while I don't know the circumstances, I do know human nature. When I read the part of your note that said: '... and he won't let me do a thing for him,' I understood your dilemma. As my mother was dying, she didn't want anyone to help her or even be around her. Toward the end, she suddenly pivoted and wanted everyone to be there. It's the old, 'I can handle this! I'm independent, and I can do it!' thing.

As John Donne said, 'No man is an island.' If you stay close and available, the time will come when he lets that door between you down, and he will want you to be there. I've seen hard core atheists suddenly beg for a minister or priest as their time drew nearer. That's not a slap at anyone, but the real thing is no one wants to be alone as death creeps toward them. Stay close, stay available, stay nonjudgmental, and wait. Waiting is the hardest part. Been there, bought a wagon load of tee-shirts.

When this current story, 'Caretaker' is done and in paperback, if you would want one, I'd send you a copy. If you prefer an audio book, I'd get you a free copy via a promo-code. I don't harass or harangue. I just send books to people who want or need them. I've sent books to several people here.

My heart is with you always. God bless you and your family.
V
bmoc66@gmail.com

posted by BigV on March 15, 2020 at 7:27 AM | link to this | reply

So you're human. Not perfect. Welcome to the club.

Love yourself.

posted by Pat_B on March 15, 2020 at 5:13 AM | link to this | reply

I guess you would understand where I am at present. I was a nurse for so long, a good one. I cared for my patients from the heart. But here I am now with a son I know is dying and he won't let me do a thing for him. I feel so helpless in this situation.