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Re:
I'm sorry that happened to you so young. It's bad enough when a tragedy such as that happens to an adult, but it can be devastating to a teen.
You hit another good point, nothing like suicide happens 'without any warning.' There are always warning signs if you know what you are seeing, but we've made suicide a taboo subject. How are you to learn anything about something if you don't talk about it? My wife and I had several serious discussions about suicide with our children. We used the death of Kurt Cobain to open the talking. Our daughter was a huge fan of his, and she was horrified at the news.
Sadly, exactly one month to the day, my father died of a heart attack. Fortunately, the lessons they had learned about the Cobain incident helped them cope with my father's death. He had always been close to my children. In fact, he had just returned from taking my son on a six day trip to the UP on Saturday. Twenty-four hours later, he was dead.
I am a firm believer that a parent must talk to their children all the time to help them cope with the bustle of Life. I'm very proud of what they have become.
posted by
BigV
on February 15, 2020 at 9:27 AM
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Exactly. It is not the coward's way out. We are arrogant to think that we know another person's mind, sorrows, and trials. My dad committed suicide when I was 15. He was only 36. I have read letters that he wrote before he took his life. There were so many signs, yet he never stated that he was going to "kill himself." He just did it on a quiet night while sitting in his car, possibly reflecting on how his life turned wrong. All the while, he made himself comfortable by listening to music, drinking a coca-cola, and chomping on peanuts while the exhaust from the trunk slowly poured into the open ports of his car, slowly lulling him out of his misery. 
posted by
Sherri_G
on February 15, 2020 at 8:19 AM
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Re: One of the concepts we follow in the Write Your Own Story group at
Exactly.
My dad always told me: 'God gave you two eyes, two ears, but only one mouth. Now why do you think that is?'
He also told me, 'It's amazing what you can hear if you merely shut your mouth.'
posted by
BigV
on February 15, 2020 at 8:02 AM
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One of the concepts we follow in the Write Your Own Story group at
the center is listening. The rule is nobody interrupts when someone is reading the story they wrote earlier in the session. We listen. If questions arise, we take notes and ask after the writer has been heard. We also observe the listening rule during our informal conversations at the end of the session. Each of us has said at times one big problem in our society is that almost nobody listens - they interrupt with their own opinions rather than hearing and learning from others. We've all said the listening is one thing they like best about our gatherings. As we age, we are increasingly invisible and unheard - the kindest thing you can do is pay attention even if we're not particularly interested in the topic at hand. Keep up your good work.
posted by
Pat_B
on February 15, 2020 at 7:53 AM
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