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I agree jeff, don't put the horse before the cart. There isn't even a someone else yet, so therefore, I would keep this feeling to myself. Speaking as a married woman, I can say that I also still get this feeling from time to time and it goes away, as I am sure my husband does too. Usually I have a dream about some adonis and then I'm done with it. :)
posted by
SizeXtraPoor
on February 18, 2004 at 11:20 PM
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oops
that should have said that the divorce rate for those who live together before marriage is higher than for those who don't live together before marriage.
posted by
Inkling
on February 18, 2004 at 2:19 PM
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Your last line was the clincher
"...see if the feeling lasts." If I acted on my feelings, my marriage would be in big trouble. I realize you're not married, but anyone considering a lifetime commitment cannot be subject to the whim of emotions. Not that feelings mean nothing, but they need to be compared with objective truth--do you love your girlfriend and want to spend the rest of your life with her or are you just playing house until something more exciting comes along and you start the cycle over again? Guess my bias against co-habitating is pretty obvious, huh? Sorry if I sound preachy, but the divorce stats for people who marry after living together are higher than those who don't. One reason is because more people who marry off the bat aren't testing the waters to see how they like living with the other person (which is self-focused) but are marrying for love and are willing to endure any challenges that come from living with the other person (giving to others). But the overall divorce rate says that neither camp is getting it right, and of course, I think that has to do with God being left out of the marriage.
posted by
Inkling
on February 18, 2004 at 2:11 PM
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Jolly,
face it, talk about it, and it will have an answer, really
posted by
WileyJohn
on February 17, 2004 at 11:00 PM
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I find that I've only had this thought when I've been thoroughly annoyed by
my boyfriend and then I realize, everybody has annoying flaws!
PL
posted by
PrincessLucy
on February 17, 2004 at 8:04 PM
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There's a book that you should read
- it's called Mars & Venus On A Date by John Gray. He talks about the Uncertainty phase and how to work through it.
--T99
posted by
Tamara99
on February 17, 2004 at 11:15 AM
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Yes, very complicated Jeff. But I agree. Talking is the best way forward.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on February 17, 2004 at 10:54 AM
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