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- Go to I suppose it is a good way to beat certain types of depression . . .
Re: Jimmy
I'm sure it is, Naut, and like I wrote, a part of me wishes I could be more like that. No one wants to have their spirits brought so far down that they can hardly function. But my friend seems to have swung the pendulum completely in the opposite direction, where he can't be serious about anything anymore! Yes, I'm sure it's a defensive posture he's been taking . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on February 28, 2014 at 8:16 AM
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Jimmy
I don't know anyone quite like that - the people I know who like to see the humour even in serious things don't seem to be suffering from blows of fate the way your friend is. But it's a good, possibly the best, defense to laugh in the face of adversity...
posted by
Nautikos
on February 28, 2014 at 6:13 AM
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Re:
He is indeed, Justi, and like I said, sometimes I wish I could be more like that. I'm the kind who usually wears his heart on his sleeve, and if I'm down about anything, you'll definitely know it! My friend knows that I'm always in his corner no matter what. But sometimes I wish I could step through this 'humorous barrier' he's created and discover his true feelings . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 28, 2014 at 5:38 AM
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I don't believe I have known anyone to that extreme but I do find myself a bit worried about someone who obviously has issues that have occurred in their lives that are hard and they are a moving laughter box. I usually just pray for them because God knows the problem not me. You are a kind soul. I am glad when one can be up regardless of the issues but from what I got here he is always up, up and away. 
posted by
Justi
on February 27, 2014 at 4:48 PM
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Re:
I understand completely, TAPS. That's one of the reasons why I give no credence whatsoever to those Zodiac signs. There are probably at least 20 million Leos out there, and there is no way you're going to convince me that we all share the exact same thoughts, feelings or emotions! I have a sister who is also a Leo, and we do share some of the same traits, but not many . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 1:52 PM
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Re: Jimmy...
You're probably right, Rumor. And I guess, in a way, it means people aren't being truthful about their emotions. It might be akin to a woman who wears entirely too much make-up because she is unhappy with her general appearance, and is trying to hide it. People who know me well know when I'm down or depressed! I usually get very, very quiet . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 1:47 PM
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Interesting post. People are so different from each other. I guess that is what makes life interesting. My FL DIL actually shares the same BD but we are so different in so many ways. Our backgrounds were totally different, our childhoods, etc. so even though we are both Leo born our temperament and personalities are quite different.
posted by
TAPS.
on February 27, 2014 at 10:34 AM
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Jimmy...
I bet your friend tries to hide his depression behind a false humor...I've met people like that and have to be careful not to do likewise at times..
..
posted by
Rumor
on February 27, 2014 at 9:07 AM
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Re:
I do understand, Jemmie. I have another friend who was born with a myriad of medical conditions, who has had to live in almost constant pain his entire life. He too jokes around continuously, and I suppose that too is a defense mechanism. I know, as friends, all we do is be a constant source of support. But like I wrote, it's sometimes very difficult to have a serious conversation with people like this. Humor is great, but we have to be adults sometimes too . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 6:48 AM
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Re: JimmyA
No, Sir Wiley, I don't intend on trying to change him or his personality or foibles. I'm just lamenting that I wish he could be serious about something at least once. Then I would know for certain that something was indeed wrong. I believe the last time I may have actually seen him serious about something was when his dad passed away about 30 years ago. That would be enough to invoke at least some seriousness out of anybody . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 6:44 AM
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Re:
Zodiac signs aside, Utah, I think many people do their best to mix seriousness with humor, or humor with seriousness, depending on the circumstances. But it's almost like the boy who cried wolf. It would appear very strange to me if my friend did suddenly turn serious about something! Then at least I would know for sure that something was indeed wrong . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 6:40 AM
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Re:
You're probably right, Kabu. Perhaps my friend feels that, if he is sad or down about something, others around him will be brought down too, and he doesn't want to be the catalyst for someone else's angst. It is a possibility, but one that's difficult to be certain of because, as I've said, he is almost never serious about anything . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 6:36 AM
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Re:
It's really not a bad way to be, FSI, but I'm sure your father has his 'serious moments' as well. Making jokes to help others through a difficult time is fine. But when you're almost never serious about anything, it may be time to worry a bit . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 6:34 AM
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Re:
I'm sure he is, Carolyn. And I'm sure that at least some of his puns and anecdotes are a defensive screen to mask how he is really feeling. I just wish that once in a while, he would simply open up, and let me know how he really feels about certain things . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 6:33 AM
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Re:
I'm sure you're right, C C T, and that was pretty much my summation as well. I have a feeling that, if he was to really sit down and consider his 'situation,' he may break down altogether. Again, I'm just the opposite. When I'm in that state of mind, I usually get real quiet . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on February 27, 2014 at 6:30 AM
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I have a friend who is very similar. I think their humor is a coping mechanism. With my friend, he's had a LOT of pain in life. He uses his humor to try to cope with that and with the pain and seriousness of those around him, myself included. But I am lucky enough to know a wee bit of his history and his heart...
posted by
Jemmie211
on February 27, 2014 at 12:37 AM
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JimmyA
He's had enough trouble and I sure wouldn't be trying to change him in any way.
posted by
WileyJohn
on February 26, 2014 at 7:06 PM
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He must be an Aquarius at heart, like me as I am more often than not in a not so serious mood.
posted by
UtahJay
on February 26, 2014 at 6:07 PM
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I think that perhaps he is one of thsoe people who fon't know how to get in touch with their feelings and is too scared to try. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you has been taken to another higher level here.
posted by
Kabu
on February 26, 2014 at 10:05 AM
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Reading about your friend reminded me about my father. My dad always seems to somehow find humor in just about any situation. When he sees people upset, he tries to cheer them up, and he has a tendency to speak before he thinks...Very rarely have others and I gotten offended at him, though. For him, it somehow works.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on February 26, 2014 at 9:47 AM
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i rarely pour my heart out around my brothers they are so defensive. i do hope they're not that way with everyone though I think they may very well be. i just like to be warm, pleasant, honest and natural no matter who i'm around. i'm afraid i wouldn't have much time for a defensive friend though i think cct is right. i bet he is hurting.
posted by
Carolyn_Moe
on February 26, 2014 at 8:25 AM
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Well off the cuff, I may be wrong ,but it sounds like a defense mechanism to me.
He is just living outside reality, I'm sure he is a nice guy. Goodness I remember I lived for a while like that, but I was really aching inside.
posted by
C_C_T
on February 26, 2014 at 8:03 AM
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