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Re: Re: Re: My son and family came all the way here and i will never forget it.
That's too bad, Kabu. Money should never be a factor in determining whether or not a family maintains its integrity. Glad you're taking it one day at a time . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on June 1, 2013 at 7:21 AM
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Re:
Thanks, Dr JPT. And just like I stated, I don't think those types of laws could work here either. Children should want to see their parents, just as parents should want to see their children. But everybody's circumstances are different, and because of that, I think trying to enforce such laws may do more damage than good! We'll just have to keep an eye on these developments over time . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on June 1, 2013 at 7:20 AM
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Re: Re: My son and family came all the way here and i will never forget it.
They broke my heart Jay but then I let go and let God and I take one day at a time.
It too was mostly I believe about money....well now I don't have much.
posted by
Kabu
on May 31, 2013 at 12:11 PM
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That is wonderful the way your family worked together for the good of all. I would not like that law enforced here because some parents are horrible. The children are better off NOT seeing some of them ever!!
Great Post.
posted by
Dr_JPT
on May 31, 2013 at 8:53 AM
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Re:
Really, C C T? I think you may be the first person to say that they are completely on board with this concept! It does seem to be somewhat of a double-edged sword, forcing people to do something that should be more or less natural! But then again, not everyone is blessed with wonderful parents, I suppose. And no need to worry about "mom" . . . she will be consistantly treated like a queen for the rest of her life, you can count on that!
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 1:07 PM
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Re: I have to wonder about the quality
Very true, Mia, and you also have some very valid points! I don't think anybody would enjoy being forced to spend any amount of time with someone . . . anyone . . . they didn't particularly care for. In just that, in this particular case, it's their parents ( or at least a parent ). And you're also right in thinking that the visit may be considered "two-fold" . . . what if the parents were somewhat abusive? That's not really fair to the child! But what if the child is just selfish and inconsiderate? That's not really fair to the parents either, especially after they reach a certain age! But it's true that it is sad that children should be forced to visit their parents. You would hope that it would be something they would want to do . . . 
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 12:57 PM
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Make a fuss of her Jimmy, but she could keep going for years hopefully. It is sad that so many quarrel with parents, I have a sneaking feeling that I like the Chinese idea.
posted by
C_C_T
on May 30, 2013 at 12:10 PM
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I have to wonder about the quality
of a court ordered visit. If the child is forced to spend time with their parents, I assume the result would be hours filled with awkward silence, anger, and resentment.
I find it sad that a parent would have to use such an extreme measure to get attention from their children. Then again, maybe they were really crappy parents (abusive etc.), and the child has a reason for not wanting to visit...
A complex issue, tucked into a very small article! 
posted by
Mia890
on May 30, 2013 at 9:22 AM
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Re:
I'm not sure, lion, but you may have a valid point! I guess if they can "force" children to visit their parents, they may be able to one day "force" those same children to leave their parents alone once in a while! Do I sense a "personal nerve" being touched here . . . ?
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:41 AM
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Re: Incredible! This raises thoughts of so many complex issues..
Well, Katray, I don't think I would complain about that! I think I would much rather have my mother "baby" me sometimes than ignore me completely! And of course you brought up some very valid points. Obviously, no one should be forced into doing anything they would rather not do, even if it is caring for their aging parents! I honestly don't know about "assisted living" situation in China, but you may be right . . . forcing children to spend certain amounts of time with their parents could lead to elder abuse! You hope it doesn't of course, but I guess that stands to be seen . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:39 AM
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Re:
Thanks, Utah. Yeah, mom is a peach. And you're right . . . there's a very good chance that some of these politicians should have a great deal of other concerns to worry about instead of trying to enact, and enforce, such seemingly ridiculous new laws! Hopefully this particular "rule" remains in China, not like any of their other numerous exports . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:32 AM
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Re: JimmyA
Always good to hear, Sir Wiley. Believe it or not, it is something I do think about from time to time, primarily because my wife and I have no children. We're both only 53, but it's never too late to think about your future. What we're actually going to do once we reach retirement age ( and beyond ) is just going to have to remain a mystery for now . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:29 AM
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Re:
And that day would be made a lot worse, Annicita, if that judge also has aging parents he/she must visit from time to time! I still don't know how they will enforce such a law exactly, but it will be interesting to see over the next couple of years how it works out . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:27 AM
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Re: My son and family came all the way here and i will never forget it.
That actually sounds sad, Kabu, but I think I can relate. As I explained, when my parents first moved from Florida to Texas, we were all very happy that someone would be there with them at all times. Everyone except one of my older brothers, who assumed ( incorrectly, of course ) that my sister would be reaping the rewards and benefits of splitting her mortgage with my parents ( he's just one of those types of people who feels everything comes down to money, and God forbid if he's cheated out of anything! ). Don't worry . . . he was duly chastised by the rest of us, who were much more concerned about our parent's well-being than their financial situation! I guess every fairly large family has to have that one dissenter . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:25 AM
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Re:
That wasn't really my intention, mneme, but I suppose that it's possible, given the fact that, apparently, there are many people who, for one reason or another, don't necessarily get along with either of their parents. I guess I was only looking at it from my perspective, being very close to my mother. Regardless, this probably won't become international law, and it will only be the Chinese children that will eventually be forced to pack up the kids and visit grandma and grandpa . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:17 AM
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Re:
I'm sorry to hear that, lustor. I suppose it's not right to assume that everyone has a good relationship with their parents, and would be more than willing to at least visit them once in a while. I know "taking them in" would probably be considered a big commitment, but as you well know, everybody needs someone to be there for them at some point in their lives! I know that if my mom was still here in Jersey, she would have plenty of "care takers" surrounding her . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:14 AM
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Re:
Thanks, FSI. Yeah, every country seems to have their own way of doing things, and that includes the various laws and doctrines they come up with. But to enforce a law requiring people to visit their aging parents just seems a little heart-wrenching to me. Is it so bad to see your parents once in a while . . . ? 
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:10 AM
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Re: Jimmy
It probably is, Naut. Like I wrote, I don't need a "law" to force me to visit my mom. All I really need is time, and money for plane tickets! But, everybody's circumstances are different I suppose . . .
posted by
JimmyA
on May 30, 2013 at 8:07 AM
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do you think they will set up a law for the reverse: one to get slow moving children out of the house so their parents can have some peace and quiet?
posted by
lionreign
on May 30, 2013 at 3:18 AM
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Incredible! This raises thoughts of so many complex issues..
My main thought is why would a parent want to force their children to spend time with them? I understand about the care-giving aspect in China (I think) but adult children usually have pretty busy lives and taking on ill or very aged parents most likely will lead to unbearable stresses that in some cases, may result in negligence or even elder abuse. I wonder if there are facilities in China like assisted living or nursing homes for folks whose children can't safely care for them. I can't fathom suing my kids for not visiting more!
Glad the situation with your parents worked out, Jimmy. My Mother is in her late 60's, independent and very active. She is in much better health than I am, which she bemoans but I am grateful she is able to enjoy her golden years as her younger days were quite rough. She does hover and "baby" me sometimes, which I allow for a short bit on not so good days..:)
posted by
Katray2
on May 30, 2013 at 12:26 AM
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I would vote for almost any politician who would promise to get ride of some of these laws rather than make more. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person, sorry about the loss of your father.
posted by
UtahJay
on May 29, 2013 at 10:07 PM
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JimmyA
My condolences for your dad my friend and I'm happy your mum is taken care of. When my dad died we got mum to move in with one of my sisters. I worry about it a bit myself at 77 but we seem to be surviving well enough.
posted by
WileyJohn
on May 29, 2013 at 5:06 PM
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wow! that law is open to so many interpretations....pity the person who appears in front of a judge having a bad day!
posted by
Annicita
on May 29, 2013 at 4:45 PM
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My son and family came all the way here and i will never forget it.
The cost was enormous. I go to them as you know when I can and today communication is easy Internationally.
knowing that you are loved and remembered is a big comfort for an older parent. being hated by another son used to be terrible but time heals the pain and leaves a Mother able to love and let go. What woule be the point of a law demanding that he take an interest in me? He would use it to pry open healed wounds.
posted by
Kabu
on May 29, 2013 at 3:10 PM
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Hmmm. I suspect you are opening a minefield.. smile.
posted by
mneme
on May 29, 2013 at 12:53 PM
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my BIL was from Plano, we visited there one time. My parents have been dead dad 25 years mom almost 7. We always lived in the same town as them but my brother was about 30 miles from them but when my mom became to sick to take care of herself he took over with POA and I had a hard time finding her at times and he has a big beutiful home she could of lived, but heaven forbid they would take her in
posted by
Lanetay
on May 29, 2013 at 9:40 AM
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I find it interesting to read of another nation's ways and laws...It is great to read of your family being there for one another.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on May 29, 2013 at 9:37 AM
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Jimmy
The very fact that it is necessary to enforce the Confucian ideals by laws is a sad sign...
posted by
Nautikos
on May 29, 2013 at 8:34 AM
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