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- Go to Gnome Poem part 1 after ruthless editing...criticism welcome.
AHA! He got it in the end for over imbibing! Now to discover how far the tumble or its impact! The cadence was very smooth, too! sam 
posted by
sam444
on April 3, 2012 at 8:45 PM
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I read and reread, Dear Kabu
and can only conclude that it is perfect as is, in my opinion! 
posted by
Katray2
on April 3, 2012 at 6:18 PM
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Marvelous!! This is the smile that I really need after a visit with the doctor making me do twisted exercise. Great Job! 
posted by
BrightIrish
on April 3, 2012 at 4:01 PM
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What a roudy drunk, very good poem
posted by
Lanetay
on April 3, 2012 at 10:39 AM
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I can tell this is going to be an epic like no other.
How fun.
posted by
TAPS.
on April 3, 2012 at 10:10 AM
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Kabuiepie-;)
Marvelous poetry, ain't it neat how he wound up at Wiley's creek.I mean given the fact I travelled with that Gnome once or twice.
posted by
WileyJohn
on April 3, 2012 at 9:42 AM
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That gnome is having a bit too much fun there.
posted by
FormerStudentIntern
on April 3, 2012 at 9:26 AM
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Don't know how they survived, now we have to see where he fell. LOLL. This was fun.
posted by
Justi
on April 3, 2012 at 7:39 AM
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Kabu
A fun poem with an Aussie twist; my only suggestion would have to do with the rhyme thing: I always think the rhyme scheme should be consistent, or else one should simply go to free verse - but that's just me, and I ain't much of a poet...
posted by
Nautikos
on April 3, 2012 at 5:23 AM
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It's a delight, and I love the tone of this, it would be
a merry little song sung with the accompaniment of a fiddle and banjo...
Line 4, first stanza, the last few words: how about "time to take flight" so it would rhyme...
posted by
Pat_B
on April 3, 2012 at 4:23 AM
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Thank you for the bunny, no one is going to criticize your work Kabu, one has to criticise oneself on these blogs, it has a different style that is suitable for gnomes, but it works very well in this setting, it is re-readable which is quite pleasant and I always like what you do because you still have the innocence of childhood, sadly lacking in we oldies.Did you mean clobber or is cobber Aussie speak.
posted by
C_C_T
on April 3, 2012 at 1:20 AM
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I like it so far Kabu, and far be it for me, but you did break your rhyme scheme in stanza number three...But without the whole poem, it still could be perfect, lets wait and see.
By the way I found a pair of gnomes today, a he and a she, now both out under a tree. Mr. and Mrs. Gnomeley.
posted by
UtahJay
on April 2, 2012 at 10:00 PM
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