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That was very unfortunate that the roommate withheld such important information! Would not have wanted her karma! sam
posted by
sam444
on March 31, 2010 at 12:48 PM
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Re: this is much better, more focused on one event and much more detailed
I'll try and keep that in mind for the next one, unfortunately the time when I was at the cannery is a little hazy. I sort of blocked a lot of that time period out because there was a lot more going on at the time and I remember most of that year like something I read out of a book rather than a normal memory
posted by
Allianna
on March 31, 2010 at 4:41 AM
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this is much better, more focused on one event and much more detailed
however, you describe the events, but you forgot to mention how it made you feel while all that was going on. What did you do to deal with it, like cry laugh get drunk etc. etc. try to think back and see if you can come up with some insight on how you dealt with that horrible situation :) I bet it would be fantastic writing :) as well as a great story
posted by
Tzippy
on March 30, 2010 at 11:14 PM
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