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Manda Lee
Thank you so much for your comment. We have and that is what is so difficult now. They spoke their sorrows that it was happening and coasted right on by as if that had nothing to do with them. I am so confused about their thinking. God bless you dear lady.
posted by
Justi
on March 23, 2010 at 3:08 PM
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Tell them gently that your circumstances have changed.
posted by
Amanda__
on March 23, 2010 at 2:29 PM
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Oh, you poor lady, you are telling a part of my life at times! I would suggest that to have them over, after dropping hints, and through great duress, would do more damage to the relationship than simply telling them it is no longer a good time for your family. Things and circumstances have changed, thus changing the rules. Anyone that loves you and cares about you can understand that. Also, I'll just throw in one famous quote from Oprah: "When a person does not hear the word 'no', that person is trying to control you." (Which, in my opinion, is not very loving.) It's okay to worry about your own feelings when no one else seems to be considering them. If you don't, who will? This is NOT selfish; it's self-preservation. Your health (and sanity, for that matter) will be preserved. That is of foremost importance at present. We love you and are rooting for you. Do what you have to do and IT'S OKAY!!! Let the chips fall where they may. If the relationship with these people is that precarious, it may be better to let it take a breather.
posted by
Darson
on March 23, 2010 at 1:12 PM
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I am too old now to go through what you are contemplating.
at Christmas my sister's widower(the double cousin sister) emailed that he was coming to stay with Wiley and me for several months. Use our placce as a base and come and go ....we were very upset. It meant the strain of a third person who is quite a dear but can be exhausitng and you couldn't possibly cope with him for months. Also coming and going means you are trapped yourselves. So I emailed straight back and told him it was impossible. that I love him as much as I could love any brother but No. He was welcome for a week only.
I was concerned that he may sulk but he's fine with it...now finds his plans have all changed. You cannnot be used this way....not by anyonelove and honsety is absolutely the best way and no apology either. If they want to come and stay in a campervan and help....with the projects and selling the cookbook door to door for you and at the market but not as house guests.
posted by
Kabu
on March 23, 2010 at 10:33 AM
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If I were one of those expected guests, I would want to be told flat out that the invitation has to be postponed to a future, indefinite date, or cancelled completely. I definitely would not take it as a personnel affront but would be honored that you felt that you could be honest with me. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}
posted by
TAPS.
on March 22, 2010 at 9:55 PM
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