Daffodils in August > Comments on Decoding Paralysis - Talking it through to myself

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actually they did know I was naive enough to take them seriously... that's why they did it and got away with it for so long.  Realising this after all this time just shows me how much progress I've made in the past two years.. only by the grace of God..

posted by mneme on February 25, 2012 at 4:10 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Re: Re: Sounds like you need to set down the pros and cons
Thanks Ciel, for taking the time and for your thoughtful comments.. I don't know why but I am starting to feel tearful again (the way I often do when someone is nice to me..!..) -  I did find your post helpful, and thank you. 

posted by mneme on February 13, 2010 at 12:15 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Re: Sounds like you need to set down the pros and cons

Who, at the moment, should be more important to you than you?

Who else than you should be the one to see you as 'that important?'

Take care of yourself... heal, and relax, and give in to loving yourself. 
Take the break, then take the risk with that PhD.  It is not the same risk as loving another man, which you have taken on, and I shout Hurray! to you for that! 

Rejection by committee... How more impersonal can it be?  And this, in fact, should be impersonal.   It is about only part of you, part of what you can do, part of what you have done with your life, your skills, your learning... If it is not good enough for them... that just means you need to grow a little more in that direction. 

You might find my post today has some echoes for you.  You are not alone.  Neither am I.  We just need to remember this from time to time!

 

 

posted by Ciel on February 10, 2010 at 2:06 PM | link to this | reply

Re: Sounds like you need to set down the pros and cons
The way I feel right now, Azur, I don't want to do it any more. I still love the learning and the research; I love writing independently. What's happened is that I've lost confidence, because of all the stuff that has been going on over the past couple of years and before that in fact.  It's been a struggle.  It doesn't encourage me that the man of the moment feels I need to work out for myself what I want out of life (- give me a chance, I've only been a free woman since 23rd November... smile...) -- I've never been in a position to think about myself until now, and then I think, who am I to be that important? Seems all a bit egotistic to me now.  

posted by mneme on February 8, 2010 at 5:12 PM | link to this | reply

How wonderful for you! This has to be a very refreshing relationship! You are so deserving, take the time to enjoy this! sam

posted by sam444 on February 5, 2010 at 12:23 AM | link to this | reply

Mneme
Well, you know what I have told you about the PhD. In the meantime, I would just relax, and soon you'll be able to enjoy one of those gorgeous English springtimes...

posted by Nautikos on February 4, 2010 at 6:09 PM | link to this | reply

Sounds like you need to set down the pros and cons
of the  PhD. I understand what a bind they are. Will the sense of satisfaction of completion outweigh feelings of not completing.

posted by Azur on February 4, 2010 at 10:05 AM | link to this | reply

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