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Re: mneme
Troosha, thanks. In fact the financial problems don't bother me, and my relationship with my children is healing. What I grieve most is losing the man I did all this for. Until he came into my life, I was my own person who had learned to live without my husband's love. I don't know to this day if he was ever that serious. It certainly felt like it, but the very sudden switch has nearly destroyed me. The worst of it is, I have not been able to tell people about this because for the most part I had to be very careful about seeing him, given the lunacy I was living with. Even this weekend, my husband is still saying he will 'get him,' and that's after (and I am still shocked) agreeing to a divorce.
posted by
mneme
on February 17, 2009 at 8:36 AM
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mneme
There are two schools of thought – keeping busy, as you said, so as to minimize those triggers, or jumping right into the pool of sh—t , wallowing in it for a while, and finally recognizing that it is in fact sh—t. The latter approach sometimes allows us to emerge victorious, stronger, and without blame or resentment. Resentment can be a killer. In your case, however, the absence of your children and your financial troubles, makes it difficult (I’m sure) to heal. My heart goes out to you….
posted by
Troosha
on February 17, 2009 at 8:18 AM
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Re: Thanks
Don't ever let anyone tell you you should have stuck it out, and don't ever think this is your fault. It's just the way it is. If you were unhappy in the marriage and are happier now, you made the right decision. Life is too short to be spent without love.
posted by
mneme
on February 17, 2009 at 8:12 AM
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Thanks
Thank you for your comments on my journal. And thanks for your writing here. I fight depression now every day. I didn't think I would ever be in such a place. They say divorce is like a death... but I have to say... I think it is much worse! It is more like a massacre. I have lost status, friends, husband, identity, family... even my mind at times. I sometimes catch myself thinking that I brought this on myself because I am the one who left. I could have stayed and just been unhappy and going through the motions... but I left.
posted by
flappergirl
on February 17, 2009 at 7:34 AM
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You're making progress, m'dear. No doubt it's too slow as it is for most
of us, but you'll be stronger in the end. And you'll know how to deal with those hurtful reminders as they pop up. Or at least you'll be able to function and keep on going in spite of them. Live well.
posted by
Pat_B
on February 17, 2009 at 5:20 AM
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I think you have come a long way too! I wish only the very best for you! sam
posted by
sam444
on February 17, 2009 at 1:25 AM
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No wonder, parents who love their children unconditionally raise geniuses,
or just solid human beings. You deserbved so much more Mneme. I am sure you will be a doctor with a doctorate and the cure for what ha[[ened in the past. Look ahead, smell the fragrance f Spring yet unborn, but sure to come!
http://www.michaelandjaspenelle.com/wp-content/plugins/yet-another-photoblog/cache/2007_05_23_wooly_yarrow_ladybird_print_5x5.8kafpmxd2fwgw4kgo848g4kgo.6ylu316ao144c8c4woosog48w.th.jpeg
posted by
ILLUMINATI8
on February 17, 2009 at 1:08 AM
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