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yeah
I was briefly married to a man who spent all my money on drugs. I pulled away from him when I had no money left; today I'm doing OK financially because I've been lucky to keep a good job. So I totally understand the stress of being tied to someone who can't/won't hold up his end of the bargain. Good luck....and
love yourself!
posted by
stonedead
on February 1, 2009 at 2:00 PM
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Mine predicted that I would end up a bag lady. That was in 1988. So far, this lady is not living out of a bag yet. Sorry you have a battle to look forward to.
posted by
TAPS.
on January 31, 2009 at 9:14 AM
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mneme
I don't know what to say that could comfort you, other than that I am confident you will get through this, and will be stronger for it once you have done so...
posted by
Nautikos
on January 26, 2009 at 4:58 PM
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I cannot wait for the day you are independent of him! Hang in there! sam
posted by
sam444
on January 23, 2009 at 3:58 PM
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Thanks Pat B. Oddly, I don't have any hatred or resentment. I am at peace just being away from him. I don't worry any more about his so-called state of mind, and my solicitor has everything she needs to go ahead. It has taken me more than a year to be ready; I am still not up to the fight, but there has to be one doesn't there.
posted by
mneme
on January 23, 2009 at 12:14 PM
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When your hate and resentment gets deep enough,
when he's driven you so far into your corner that your fight instinct wakes up, you'll do something. Sometimes the post-separation licking-our-wounds phase takes a long time. The trick is to realize you've bought and paid for your half of everything with the coins of disappointment, fear, lost dreams.
posted by
Pat_B
on January 23, 2009 at 4:32 AM
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Hi Azur
Thanks... I can do very little for me without any money in my bank. I wasn't able to work the second half of the year because of the stress I had been placed under. Things are only marginally better. I do have a counsellor who is helping me find a focus. I am one step away from giving in and giving up my studies. It is all too hard.
posted by
mneme
on January 23, 2009 at 1:54 AM
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First. You are stronger than you know
Try to focus on things you can do for you rather than reacting to him. Can't help feeling it might help to begin to let go of the nitty gritty details of what has passed. I think they get in the way. I think he deflects you with all of that. Try not to let the conversation go there. oh i know it's easier said than done. Do you have a no nonsense friend who can coach you in this? The strength is there, just needs to be directed the right way.
Of course I know nothing, and I do feel your pain.
posted by
Azur
on January 23, 2009 at 1:44 AM
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