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My heart hears where you are coming from.
I truly think you are a dedicated helper who is like a fish out of water right now. I sense that you miss the operating room nursing scene and feel that you deep down miss being needed in that situation. Then you are outside the operating room trying to find a way to fit in and find a person who really neds your help. The sick lady needed you badly, you saved her life. I appreciate you for having taken a chance and doing what you did. She, in turn, did not know how to thank you in the correct manner that would make you feel fulfilled. She is apparently shy in this area of having a friend and does not know what to do other than back out of the relationship as it is too close to her for comfort. Really, all she needs to do is write you a personal thank you note and go on being a person. She can not do this at this time. You had to draw the lines of professionalism and personhood in order to handle the situation. She could not split the situation in her head, but y ou could. Now you would like to continue the friendship and oncinue the friendship. Putting yourself out on a limb and giving professional advice came automatically. So, pehaps the best way you can do this is invite her for tea or coffee or to go out without the kids and then go shopping or something and do not talk about health at all.
I hope this helped some. Do you feel sad like that more so than not these days. You could be crossing a life change marker like in Gail Sheehy's book called passages. You could be mourning the past or something you miss about life two to three years ago. If I can help, let me know.
posted by
michaudblaine
on July 28, 2008 at 8:19 PM
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Why you cry.
This is
posted by
michaudblaine
on July 28, 2008 at 8:07 PM
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Why you cry.
This
posted by
michaudblaine
on July 28, 2008 at 8:07 PM
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Nurse to Nurse
It certainly sounds like you were used and maybe the lady got offended when you were trying to clarify the boundaries of the relationship. Maybe they thought they could use you as a "free clinic". Could the lady have misread your obvious concern for her and her family after you were invited into their circle as a "move " on her place in the family. We nurses want to help everyone and it is hard when rejected. I have learned though that every one makes their own path and choices and it isn't our place to change that. We can only offer our assistance and they choose to take to have help or not. It has been especially difficult for me because I do Healing Touch and other energy work and my husband has Alzhiemers and Parkinsons and I have so many tools in my healing bag to ease his difficulties but he has such a deep seeded belief that he has to suffer. Even when he gives me permission to help, any energy work makes him worse even just to clear his energy field.
You sound like the kind of nurse that health care system needs since our health care system is indeed in a poor state. I am retired because of having fibromyalgia and CFS and I won't even cross the door of a hospital because of the stigma of this dis-ease and the lack of care I get from my fellow nurses. May you be blessed and heal soon skye
posted by
skye08
on July 10, 2008 at 12:06 PM
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I definitely know how hard it is to take advice,,i am not
very good at it and cry a lot about things i should just get
over,,but my advice is it is not you ,,,it is her,,, you did
nothing wrong,,,you went out of your way to save her
life,,I really can't believe she hung you out to dry,, but
please try to hang in there,,I'm sure there are a million
people who would love to have your friendship
posted by
Samantha39
on July 6, 2008 at 2:13 AM
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Since you asked. . .
My guess is that the lines were blurred from the start. Usually those lines are separated, but this woman had involvement with your children, and you have known her husband. I am not surprised at all that you feel used. You were! I think maybe she, as a tutor and a peer parent, may have become uncomfortable at all your knowledge, at the blurring of HER personal boundary lines. She could have been MUCH more tactful. "You know, I don't need a nurse anymore, so let's not talk about my health. I am very grateful that your advice may have saved my life, but now let's move on and just be friends." And then she could have asked you out to dinner and a movie or something. Heck, you saved her life, and treating you to dinner would have been a nice gesture!
The thing I'm sorry to see is that now you are withholding your normal advice because you've been deeply hurt. I hope that you will get past this and return to your standard "operating" procedures. I have been deeply moved by your compassion, and I feel that you must have a huge impact on other people for the good. May God heal your heart and richly bless you for your service to these often overlooked and deeply needy people!
posted by
NatureSpirit23
on July 5, 2008 at 9:26 PM
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