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M, thank you for visiting my blog...I will read from the beginning of your journey here... bless your heart ~ Keep strong - Home is in your Heart - touch it, feel it, own it. I am honored that you visited my blog and I am glad therefore, I've found yours ~
~ Elyse of the fields
posted by
elysianfields
on March 16, 2008 at 12:00 PM
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You are doing so much better than the dispirited spouse
who can't summon up the courage or strength to make the decision, make the move, and even accept the blame--until you grow out of the habit of that last!
Time will work its magic, and your kids will learn, as they grow older in life experience, to have more admiration and respect for you than you can imagine now! If they don't, then that is more their loss than yours.
posted by
Ciel
on March 15, 2008 at 1:45 AM
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mneme
You are doing well and you have a lot of courage to correct an unjust situation.
My suggestion would be to find a good psychotherapist to speak with if you can give yourself permission to do that, because it would help support your self esteem which is really what this is all about I would suggest.
The hardest part in life I have learned for me is to ACCEPT things like leaving your daughter there, she is an adult now and you have done your job. The toughest part of parenting is really having to 'let go and let God' without taking things back that you have given Him to handle.
I speak only from experience because my circumstances have left me now with the love of 1 step-daughter and loss of communication from my own 5 children. My job as a father is done, and they are all doing well without me.
I grieve quietly to myself about their choices, but I learned they are not my choices but theirs.
Oh I have gone on luv, but I do wish you every success in your new life, free from spousal mental abuse, and I lived that too. God Bless you my friend.
posted by
WileyJohn
on March 14, 2008 at 9:56 PM
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johnmacnab, sweet of you to ask
- When I came away I didn't know how I would feel, and I had been through the wringer emotionally... then when he asked me, in january, how would I would pay for repairs from some flooding inside the house, that was pretty much it for me (I overfilled the bath and the overflow turned out not to have been properly sealed when the new bathroom was fitted). When I told him I was staying here and that I was happier here, he asked me what about my family I was deserting! I've been told all along that it was all my fault. I sometimes need reminding not to take that seriously.
posted by
mneme
on March 14, 2008 at 3:14 PM
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mneme
What gives you the idea that you do have something to apologize for?
posted by
johnmacnab
on March 14, 2008 at 2:53 PM
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Home is where the heart is. I hope that your heart mends from the ordeal.
posted by
BC-A
on March 13, 2008 at 5:25 PM
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I understand...
posted by
_Symphony_
on March 13, 2008 at 10:55 AM
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Remember, mneme, home is where the hearth is... :)
posted by
saul_relative
on March 13, 2008 at 8:11 AM
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It's not as though you (or they) can't visit, phone, email...
But you're right. Letting go is the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. Doing what's best for yourself is sometimes a close second. I hope your homecoming soon becomes a blessing. :)pat
posted by
Pat_B
on March 13, 2008 at 7:38 AM
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mneme
This way of 'being all over the world' is becoming more and more the norm - which, of course, is no consolation...
posted by
Nautikos
on March 13, 2008 at 6:50 AM
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mneme, things have a way of working themselves out................
just take one day at a time. It sounds as though your children are adults now and you may have to leave them where they choose to be, but they will find their way to you, they will. You are home, home is where you want to be. Just let things ride whichever direction they may. Isn't it time you enjoyed your own life?
posted by
MaggieMae
on March 13, 2008 at 4:31 AM
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True, Taps. But as a person who hasn't put myself 'there' as knowing what's best for me, it takes practice. I remain optimistic, always have, in spite of what my husband might say. Maybe it's an ostrich mentality, maybe not . - I don't think my head's in the sand.. got to be careful it isn't in the clouds either :) And choices are not something I've been good at. I've so often preferred to keep the peace, if I could.
posted by
mneme
on March 13, 2008 at 4:22 AM
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Mneme, you will do fine now that you are home. It seems that nothing is ever perfect for anyone. One has to make choices. No one can know what is best for you except you, yourself.
posted by
TAPS.
on March 13, 2008 at 3:56 AM
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