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in and out

Wow.... that is really deep. And powerful.

posted by Angela_Sargent on October 5, 2007 at 11:32 AM | link to this | reply

in and out

in sometimes feels likes i am in and out of reality

wondering

who i am

trying on

the reality that will not give me hives

the hives have become more and more frequent

and the bastard

takes up so much of my nerves

and my nerves are worn so thin

and even when I try to leave this skin

and try on new skin

I find my nerves

are worn so thin

I am bleading

and scratching

and taking a pill

to ease the hives from spreading

and growing

so I can stop

scratching

just for today

I am getting worse

somedays

i think

then other days

I come out of that shit hole

i lived in with that

pig

and understand that

I put myself

there now

he did it to me

now my mind does it all by itself

and it is so hard

when you are in and out

like this

in and out

wishing you never

knew the person that let some

piece of shit

make you fear your

own skin

in and out

in nothing easy

but it is better

than dead-

most of us kill ourself

you know

we just kill ourself

because we are so ashamed

of who we are

and can not live

free

once we leave

the abuse

of domestic violence

so if we do not enter

another one

we just become

our

own best friends

kill ourself

we find a place to survive

and live in our

skin

even when

the hives

bubble

upon the inside of our arms

as we recall his hands

on our necks

and we think of him fucking

our bodies

and the hives spread

to the hips

as we nearly vomit thinking of how

we had to

turn

away

from that

pig

as he

thrust

his fat body into

our frail

body

leaving us

damaged

broken

parts

of a woman

so fragmented

that we

have become

in and out

of the whole

and parts

of us will never be

entire again

that

is what it is

like to survive

domestic

violence

and to know he pig

has your kid

is really

posted by Harvardgirl_global on October 2, 2007 at 12:08 PM | link to this | reply

I've been there. It gets better.

posted by FineYoungSinger on October 2, 2007 at 10:16 AM | link to this | reply