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Ariel, getting back to your rapier-like whit, O Delphic Sage,
We'll have to soldier on without the merry prankster until he deigns to return. On a serious note, re: your post, passion is most definitely the least accurate predictor of a viable relationship. I could tell you stories, but I won't, as I'm sure a million people could, of being misled and led astray by passion's blind fury.
It's the stuff of literature. It's always inspiring to read of others like yourself and Lady Ariela, who've transcended mere transient passion to build a more lasting union, which, most of us, if we're honest with ourselves long for daily.
Of course, the course of true love never runs smoothly and people of passionate and incendiary temperaments, with what is commonly and usually dismissively referred to as "issues", will of course, clash and wonder if we have the "right stuff" to make it through the maelstroms of ego, passion, vanity and baggage.
I wonder if we're all just floating in the flotsam and jetsam of the wrecked baggage of previous relationships. I only hope to make it work this time, my track record is not stellar, but hopefully with (middle) age, comes some semblance of wisdom and self-knowledge.
Any words of advice on how to deal with arguments? Like don't let the sun set on your anger or other words.
And, yes, I hear you about the endless rows. I had to make a decision when I left and came back after my last row with an unnamed blogger, "Do I want to be right, do I want to be happy? Do I want to be read? Do I want to write? Just what the f* am I doing here?" And I realized that is a combination of all of the above.
I hope you do stick around, Ariel, you're a hoot.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 21, 2006 at 11:16 AM
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Great read, and I know you're right.
Passion is the catalyst for the fire -- it is all consuming and burns bright and fast. So if you don't have something besides that, you don't have anything.
I think you can actually boil it down to a couple of simple things -- a couple needs to be friends if they wish to remain lovers, and the number one rule is, put each other first -- and watch each other's back.
Doesn't make it perfect but it does make it stable.
posted by
strat
on November 21, 2006 at 7:40 AM
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You never fail to amaze me
what a wonderful post.
posted by
bel_1965
on November 21, 2006 at 7:27 AM
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ariel, it will be 38 years for Liz and I come January..is there some magic
formula for keeping a marriage together?..not at all, but that fondness for each other is a bonding that grows no matter if its been 5 years or 50...sure, there are points of stress that threaten that bond and stretch it to almost a breaking point at times...but Marriage is NOT a "cut and run" endeavor...
posted by
Rumor
on November 21, 2006 at 6:58 AM
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Brilliant summary as usual, Ariel, I only hope I have found The One, but
only time will tell. It's touch and go at times.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 20, 2006 at 12:59 PM
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I liked your comment “we have to depend upon instinct, fathered by optimism
How true this is. And your observation about initial passion was on the mark as well. Although a lot of people think their relationship is dissolving when the passion settles into something less lethal, it is actually an opportunity to redefine, explore, and settle into (as you put it) or more synergetic connection.
Perhaps not as much as I would like to, or as time permit, I enjoy being a "reader" within Blogit. It is a glimpse into people's philosophies, beliefs, their concern of the day, or in some instances charm and amusement. For whatever it's worth - your blog is listed in my "favorites". I look forward to the poems you say you're going to post.
posted by
Troosha
on November 20, 2006 at 12:44 PM
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Pat_B
Thank you! I must say you really got the old grey cells stirring!
You really ought to have more consideration for jubilados, you know!
posted by
ariel70
on November 20, 2006 at 11:21 AM
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So far, so good.
Looking forward to tomorrow's post. :)pat
posted by
Pat_B
on November 20, 2006 at 11:14 AM
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