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Afzal, I was just reading this post and got quite confused
posted by
Straightforward
on July 12, 2008 at 11:14 PM
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Lust ,
I am sending an email for you. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 10:47 PM
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cheaters, bigamist comtribute to the break down of the families
posted by
Lanetay
on November 2, 2006 at 10:41 PM
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well senators have important matters then to worry about bigamist and cheaters, besides many of them fit right in
posted by
Lanetay
on November 2, 2006 at 10:40 PM
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I didn't know that the postition is so bad there in US.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 10:28 PM
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those people that dont put much value in families and married life and raising children in the proper setting are one of the reasons the country suffers from crime and poverty, children are left at home being baby sat by a computer or a tv what are they learning from these things. Too much greed amongst many
posted by
Lanetay
on November 2, 2006 at 10:27 PM
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I dont like cheaters or bigamist so why would I want the senators to worry about a small item as this, when we have wars, poverty and old people eating cat and dog food
posted by
Lanetay
on November 2, 2006 at 10:23 PM
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lust ,
Why don't you ask the senators to introduce a new law of the kind .Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 10:11 PM
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Whysper,
That's a new angle to my post . Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 10:07 PM
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to some the marriage license may just be a paper with no meaning to many of us its a paper with meaning and going behind the persons back you have made vows with it is cheating, and coming to the US married and marrying another women is a bigamist cheater
posted by
Lanetay
on November 2, 2006 at 9:39 PM
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I guess I misunderstood your complaint
I won't disagree that it's unfair that polygomous marriage is outlawed in this country, there are many things that are unfair to one group or another. I don't however agree that "cheating" should be illegal just because you can't legally have more than one wife at a time. Adultery used to be against the law in every state in the union, but much of that has changed over the last 40 years.
Democracy is slow to change.
posted by
Whysper
on November 2, 2006 at 6:34 PM
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Passion,
I agree with Sunny. Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 5:24 PM
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Passion, actually, in a way, it's worse.
From what I've researched on this kind of thing, at least within marriage, the men or women involved are secure, like legally, like for inheritance purposes and such, and morally, because most societies tend to view married people as being more moral than people who are not married but have sex.
So, it's kind of a disadvantage, both legally and morally, to not be able to be married more than once.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on November 2, 2006 at 5:05 PM
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Sleeping with alot of different people isn't the same as
Marrying alot of people -
posted by
Passionflower
on November 2, 2006 at 5:01 PM
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Sunny,
You are right ,I just wanted our thinkers to realise the doublestandard and sham propogation against one way of life while enjoying the same without any qualms,condemnation and punishment by just keeping it out of the legal purview .Its having a law which says not more than one but have a society which allows a free life .Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 4:37 PM
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Afzal, The more I think about it, and after reading your comments, I think
you have a point. It is quite ludicrous, that they will jail people here for being married to two women, even if they don't stray outside those two relationships, but if someone is married to one woman, and sleeps with 100's of others, absolutely no action is taken place legally. Not even a slap on the wrist.
You would think that if we are promoting monogomy then there should be punishments for these other activities that occur.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on November 2, 2006 at 4:30 PM
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Sunny,
I think you have added a good point to my argument . Thanks
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 4:18 PM
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avant-garde,
So far as the question of fulfillment is concerned there are men and women who are never satisfied with one man or woman and there are men and women who are satisfied with one man and one woman.Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 4:15 PM
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Whysper,
In common parlance the act as stated in the post of OFFBEATS under scrutiny is rightly commented but in the legal definition it lacks the ingredients of cheating otherwise people would have been booked for cheating along with bigamy and according to my perception such relationships are simply extra-marital . Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 4:13 PM
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lust,
You are right and that's what I am saying its bigamy and not cheating .Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 4:06 PM
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OFFBEATS,
I think then the legal system in the US is incompetent ,it should book all the men or women who indulge in flirting for cheating instead of any other punishment .Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 4:05 PM
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Afzal
I think that by various views and various definitions, nearly anyone can be accused of having "cheated" at one time in life, or another.
Some may not like to think of it this way, but it's true, if you are going to consider someone cheating, when they have had no physical contact with someone, then it is also true for anyone else, married or even in a relationship if they even look at anothers body to seek pleasure, then it would also have to be considered cheating.
It's my view, that if as long as you are truthful with all the parties concerned, then it is not cheating. If you deliberately hide what's going on, then it is cheating, in more way than one.
There's so much in life that could actually be held as "cheating" in one definition or another.
posted by
Afzal_Sunny7
on November 2, 2006 at 1:51 PM
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afzal
I can't imagine that more than one wife sharing the same man would produce fulfillment. But, stranger things have been known to occur.
posted by
avant-garde
on November 2, 2006 at 1:25 PM
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azal
One of the beauties of the Americanized version of English, is our ability to change the definition of words over the course of time.
In respect to human relationships, the majority of our society maintains an intent to be monogomous. We enter into relationships in a promise to be faithful to one another, and when we break that promise we are then "cheaters".
This does not mean people in relationships cannot have friends of the opposite sex, quite the opposite. However, each couple sets their own bounderies and the "cheaters" know when they've crossed the line, they just don't care.
posted by
Whysper
on November 2, 2006 at 1:16 PM
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but its bigamy in the US don't forget that
posted by
Lanetay
on November 2, 2006 at 1:12 PM
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azal
I just wrote about his subject yesterday and the consensus around Blogit was across the board about the matter. Cheating can be labled anything you want, but a cheat is a cheat in the western world. We have a firm belief in honor and with honor is trust. There is no room for cheating (although a lot of people do it)...
posted by
Offy
on November 2, 2006 at 11:19 AM
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Passion,
You are right and I agree with you .Whoever finds a love should divorce and get married . Thanks.
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 11:18 AM
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I guess this is a situation where cultures make a huge difference.
Here in America, we use the word much more loosely. Also, it's against the law to have more than one wife here. It's called Polygamy and you can be arrested for it.
If you're unhappy in your marriage then why not just divorce and find someone to love?
posted by
Passionflower
on November 2, 2006 at 11:11 AM
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Ariala,
It is not only the dictionary which makes the difference but the change of meaning which takes place from time to time with the changing circumstances which we need to note. Like for example, the Government of Pakistan is not questioned by any political thinker in the west as not having a democratic government so long as it is in support of the world's biggest democracy.Likewise when men are engaged in extra-marital affairs they are supposed to be cheating when the same thing is done by the ladies it is called flirting .There are long list of things which carry different meaning in different societies . In some societies living with someone other than one's spouse is not criticised but take another person as a legal partner is diliked , some socities except friendship of opposite sex as permissible and is not looked down upon by any member of the society but if it goes to the extent of legal establishement of the tie then it becomes a sin. In some societies it is wrong to mix with any other person of opposite sex other than one's own spouse as sin and if any such relatioship needs to surface it should be legalised instantly to maitain the sanctity of interaction between opposite sex .
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 10:32 AM
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afzal, I agree with Troosha, and I think it's a cultural/religious
difference as well as a difference based on which dictionary you're using.
posted by
Ariala
on November 2, 2006 at 10:02 AM
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Troosha,
Thanks for sharing the dictionery meaning of "cheating" .
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 9:55 AM
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Ariala,
With all due respect I beg to differ on this point with you . I am not trying to make any thing right which is wrong in the eyes of some people here but I am just trying to ask them to use the right expression . You can't ask for hot when you are wanting something cold and you let the person who is distributing both hot and cold water to understand on his own and give cold wanter if you want hot water .
posted by
afzal50
on November 2, 2006 at 9:53 AM
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Afzal
In the dictionary one definition of cheat is “ to deceive or mislead somebody, especially for personal advantage”. So, in the western culture when we marry and commit our love and our body to one person and one person alone to do otherwise would, in fact, be considered cheating.
Interesting difference in the Islamic culture to mine (a western world Christian).
posted by
Troosha
on November 2, 2006 at 9:50 AM
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I think people can get caught up in rhetorical. If people are honest, then
they don't play around with definitions. If someone hides and lies (because they have fallen in love with someone other than their spouse), to the spouse that is cheating...whether physical or emotional, it's cheating. Definitions mean little to the person hurt by the lie. I'm not judging, trust me...but I think we can rationalize a lot away.
posted by
Ariala
on November 2, 2006 at 9:22 AM
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