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Thanks, Dave
Strength and good wishes are all I need. My mother is up in arms at the moment :)
posted by
mneme
on November 2, 2006 at 2:30 PM
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We can offer our thoughts, Mneme, but only you can sort it.
So I offer you strength and good wishes instead.
We're always here. Literally for some.
posted by
_dave_says_ack_
on November 2, 2006 at 4:01 AM
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Offbeats, Wiley,
you are both very kind. I did seek counselling; nothing was really resolved. I do need time and space, and would rather things were calm and harmonious. I am thinking about going home for while to rest.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 8:44 PM
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mneme
Well, I know that at that stage in my life, I sought out a psychologist and talked my way into a new life. I will pray for you though luv, and maybe the path will lighten for you.
posted by
WileyJohn
on November 1, 2006 at 8:34 PM
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WOW
You have a lot going on inside you. Think maybe we have all been there at some point in our life, it's never easy. Ya know the worse part about is it will happen again. Always a decision no matter what phase of life. I know you will decide what is best for yourself....just one piece of advice, give yourself time and space!
posted by
Offy
on November 1, 2006 at 8:24 PM
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I know, Blanche. I keep very, very busy, and write a lot. I left a whole other life behind and wasn't prepared for it, and that's what's at the root of all of this. Someone moved the goalposts - work, global depression, conflicting goals, not enough compromise, too much argument. Sixteen years later, here we are. I've emailed, by the way :)
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 7:50 PM
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I am calm, Mneme, it's your life!
posted by
Blanche.
on November 1, 2006 at 7:36 PM
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Blanche.. calm down..
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 7:32 PM
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Oh, good grief.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 1, 2006 at 7:26 PM
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thanks Azur, it's just nice to know that people take the trouble to comment.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 7:25 PM
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Thanks Blanche; now all I have to do is to get permission. -that isn't a joke.. there will be a lot of fuss and noise before he'll agree to it.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 7:25 PM
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I am sorry to hear that, Mneme. Maybe some time apart might make things
clearer, remind you both of the good things rather than the stuck old patterns. I don't know, God knows I'm no expert on relationships. This is the longest I've been in one, 2 and a half years, and I wouldn't presume to say.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 1, 2006 at 7:09 PM
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Mneme
I don't have the right words for you. I think they are only within you if you can find them. Take care
posted by
Azur
on November 1, 2006 at 7:09 PM
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Blanche,
it's been going on too long like this already. I'm tired; thinking I might go home and stay with my family for a couple of months.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 7:05 PM
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twistedmom
this sounds all too familiar. He is always right.. has to be. I used to get so frustrated trying to get a point across without it being lost in a debate.. I never felt I got anywhere and I still don't.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 6:54 PM
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Thanks, Symphony.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 6:48 PM
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I'm sorry to hear that, Mneme, that doesn't sound like it bodes well for
the future of the relationship then, if there is no honesty; gentle, and with integrity and empathy, but still protecting your own heart as well.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 1, 2006 at 6:46 PM
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Blanche,
in a nutshell, that's the problem. I ran out of energy for that kind of communication.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 6:41 PM
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Troosha
that little voice in my head is actually two - the rational one and the emotional one - fighting for the upper hand.
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 6:38 PM
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Mnene
Major life decisions are never simple but life should be without “noise”. Sure… it happens from time to time when our frustration level exceeds rational thought but for the most part we are all entitled to a life that makes us feel peaceful and safe. This is the goal for most of us and often that requires close examination of the situation we’re in. I’ve met up with numerous crossroads in my life and I rely on that little voice in my head to guide me. It’s usually correct.
posted by
Troosha
on November 1, 2006 at 7:02 AM
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Mneme,I don't know your situation, and so don't want to offer advice,
based on generalities, but I think that it's best that you say something. Bottled up frustrrations tend to explode, or corrode from the inside. I'd say, try to figure out what the core issue is, what's really bothering you, and go from there, sit down with "him" and talk it out. Without communication, there is no relationship.
posted by
Blanche.
on November 1, 2006 at 6:32 AM
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I hope that things will work out soon.....I am thinking of you.
posted by
_Symphony_
on November 1, 2006 at 5:04 AM
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yes, he does admit that he has done wrong...however maintains that it is my fault that he has done something wrong...and if I were different...or didn't do A...then he wouldn't act like B....
posted by
twisted_mom
on November 1, 2006 at 4:33 AM
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twistie,
i've often thought you could be me, twenty years ago. the major difference that I see is that your husband seems to want to admit his share in things - maybe it's genuine but only you know that
posted by
mneme
on November 1, 2006 at 3:01 AM
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That sounds so familiar...my thoughts are with you...
posted by
twisted_mom
on November 1, 2006 at 2:43 AM
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