Comments on GO SCHLEPPIN' AROUND SPAIN AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AND ... WHO KNOWS?

Go to WHO IS THIS GUY CALLED ARIEL?Add a commentGo to GO SCHLEPPIN' AROUND SPAIN AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AND ... WHO KNOWS?

Ariel70
Ah ye be welcome sir, ye should a read about what I wrote bout ye it may not be good! No, I would not write anything bad about YOU! Be blessed, I love your writing.

posted by Justi on November 1, 2006 at 12:40 PM | link to this | reply

Nice juxtapositioning -- concrete details --
every bit seems to move the readers exactly where you want them.  Worth a second read!  :)

posted by Pat_B on October 31, 2006 at 7:45 AM | link to this | reply

ariel,
you have a way of presenting the imaginary as a powerful presence! I can almost smell the scents of Spain, but you connect them vertically, as it were, with her bloodied history...

posted by Nautikos on October 30, 2006 at 7:19 PM | link to this | reply

Ariel this is beautifully written.
I could visualize or reminisce the whole scene. You created a strange atmosphere and brought the alien culture of Halloween to Spain, I am sure they would not have a bar of it there. They tried to introduce Halloween in France, but the French viewed with the contempt it deserved; as a crass way of making money and I believe the commercial fad is fading...
Your story made me feel uneasy, it was quite of surreal. You described the surroundings beautifully, somehow the characters were one dimensional which probably gave the story its surreal flavour. I feel that you look on Spain from the outside and do not get into the heart of the Spaniards, I don't feel the connection there between you and their culture. I find that frustrating, it does not match my view of Spain, I really loved the place and I can see you love its beauty as for the culture, I think the Brits and the Spaniards live in two different worlds.
Thank you so much for your comments on my poems. I felt really honoured that  you liked some of them because I think you are the one who writes so beautifully and I think to myself, I wish I wrote that not the other way around. I agree that my punctuation is crying for attention and I am working on it, believe it or not!
My comments are not so much criticisms on your writings as observations, and my unrealistic expectations not being met.

posted by marieclaire66 on October 30, 2006 at 5:04 PM | link to this | reply

Bravo, Ariel!!...

posted by lovelyladymonk on October 30, 2006 at 12:03 PM | link to this | reply

Although, to be fair, I was just as annoyed by the ersatz demonstrations

and smug, self-congratulatory prostests, (in the most liberal city in the country, woo, they're really taking a risk there), a bunch of anti-war protestors with pre-fab signs out looking smugly at everyone who crosses their path.

What am I supposed to say?  I am too appalled to even make eye contact. This is no disco for dilettantes, we need real patriots, not the fairweather kind.

posted by Blanche. on October 30, 2006 at 10:48 AM | link to this | reply

You're welcome, even if you malign my party, Ariel, lol.

posted by Blanche. on October 30, 2006 at 10:45 AM | link to this | reply

Blanche

 

Thank you very much. I've just told Justi that she is loyal to me, and so are you.I thank you for that.

posted by ariel70 on October 30, 2006 at 10:44 AM | link to this | reply

Justi

 

Wow! Five gold stars! Why, thankee ma'am. You are loyal to me.

posted by ariel70 on October 30, 2006 at 10:43 AM | link to this | reply

Ariel70
That is a fantastic story.

posted by Justi on October 30, 2006 at 10:41 AM | link to this | reply

Ariel, beautiful tapestry of an eerie, fey place, as seen through the two
lovers' eyes, the spell unfolds, and explains in the end, the sense of foreboding.  Nice, El Tel.

posted by Blanche. on October 30, 2006 at 10:40 AM | link to this | reply